I?m not looking for a formula?
Drops of water fall on my already tear-soaked face. My mind twists like a rubix cute every possible cause and effect of my so called beliefs and my not-carried-out-yet actions. Why does nothing seem to make sense anymore? Why am I so damn sad? What the hell is wrong with me? Who is to blame? And WHY can?t someone successfully show me the irrationality of it all? It must be my lack of faith. Why does peace seem so elusive when I know the One from whom it comes? I?m not looking for a fix-me-up formula. God knows if one actually worked we?d all be using it. I?m just starving for something ? someone who isn?t afraid to be real. The constant superficial semantics are driving me out of my mind. This shower stall, the middle of the the night appointments with my porch, and this notebook are my only advocates. I?m not looking for a formula, I just want something real.