Should the Bible complement the marriage license?
Scripture reading: Philemon 1-25. Text: Philemon 10: “I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains.” New International Version. “I beseech thee for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my bonds:” King James Version. “So I make a request to you on behalf of Onesimus, who is my own son in Christ; for while in prison I have become his spiritual father.” Good News Bible. Apostle Paul’s letter to Philemon is a short but important one. In it the old servant of the Lord presents a plea for the sake of a fugitive slave, Onesimus, so his master Philemon will receive him back “no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother +” 16th verse.
IS IT IN THE BIBLE?
The original Greek text is concise. If we translate it word by word, the King James Version is closest to what Apostle Paul had written, yet we feel it needs some interpretation because how can a man “beget” an adult in prison? From the context and the message of the whole letter it becomes obvious that this father-son relationship is not biological but spiritual as the other translations prove. Please see above.
IS IT IN THE MARRIAGE LICENSE?
The clerk in the courthouse will not ask many questions from the young gentleman and lady who are in love and are applying for a marriage license. If they are legally eligible for marriage, they must pay the fee and the license is issued. Within 60 days they have to declare publicly, in front of the justice of peace, magistrate, mayor or clergy, and witnessed by two persons, that they love each other and wish to become husband and wife. The law of the state does not require anything else. But are these sufficient for the longest commitment in life?
If we take marriage seriously, especially when couples are married in the church, it is assumed that there are unmentioned obligations included in the covenant made between husband and wife. On Father’s Day may we see what these unspecified expectations are concerning the fathers?
1. A husband will become a father and simultaneously will remain a brother and son. There are married couples who do not have children, but these are exceptions as most newlyweds will experience the joy of parenthood soon. The child(ren) will grow up in a happy family when they see and feel that the head of the house is a FATHER WHO CARES, a BROTHER WHO SHARES, and a SON WHO LOVES THE GRANDPARENTS.
2. Even when there are only one or two children, it is insufficient if the mother alone tries to raise the little one(s), for the father’s input is as vital as the mother’s concern. The children should not only be told but also sense that their father is not only the undisputable boss but also a FRIEND, MANAGER, COUNSELOR and DEFENDER. A good friend can be trusted and confided in, an able manager sees to it that everybody’s needs are met, a skilled counselor will carefully listen and help to solve the intimate and intricate problems and a committed defender offers protection for his beloved ones.
3. Besides being the biological father, dad should be the spiritual father also – please see Apostle Paul and Onesimus – who does not leave everything up to the mother. According to the “old tradition,” (which has never been legislated) the kitchen, children and the church are the ladies’ responsibilities. Today it is as important for the mother to have a logical, educated mind as it is for the father to possess a loving and feeling heart. See the father of the prodigal son, Luke 15:11-32. If a father does not have his own spiritual experience and relegates the church activities to his wife, then how can he be his children’s close friend and trusted counselor? Besides earning the bread and butter, he should share the emotional and spiritual responsibilities with his wife. The father should set the example of how to practice the golden rule in the family: “Not I or SHE or THEY are in the center anymore but WE!”
One of the interpretations of a happy marriage is to become unceasingly better and remain constantly a stronger member of a harmonious family. If the husband will become a father and remain a brother and son, he will become and remain his children’s friend, manager, counselor and defender, as he is the biological father so he will he become – together with his wife – the source of emotional and spiritual strength. May the grace and blessings of the heavenly Father make these a reality in every family. Let us pray and work for it.
The Rev. Alexander Jalso is a retired United Presbyterian minister living in Brownsville.