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Bullying issue

4 min read

Hey, Coach! My best friend lets her obnoxious boyfriend treat her like “crap,” and she won’t stand up for herself. It’s almost like she accepts it willingly. When we went out last week, he was loud and abusive, which is a somewhat common occurrence. I had to step in and push him away from her. He started to get mouthy with me, and I stood up to him and he backed down. He can be nice, but can’t hold his liquor. I don’t always hang out with her, so how do I get my friend to stand up for herself when I’m not around?

Signed++Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned Friend: It is no surprise to hear that someone can be nice, but that they become “something else” when intoxicated. Alcohol and/or drugs are typically present in a high percentage of incidents involving abuse, whether it’s physical and/or verbal. People with anger issues should obviously not drink. Unfortunately, there is probably nothing close to a perfect world in this matter if your friend stays in the relationship and is unable to fend for herself. Even if she does, there’s no guarantee that it will bring an end to the abuse. Some people are very controlling, and for a guy to bully his girlfriend is just plain poor and needs addressed. His behavior probably has very little chance of changing, unless he gets some help. If your friend chooses to stay in the relationship, the strong suggestion here is that she should insist upon him talking to a professional. Hopefully the Coach is incorrect, but, unfortunately, about the best you can do here is probably keep a close eye on your best friend and be there for support when needed. If things don’t change, hopefully she will see the light and move in another direction.

Losing 30 pounds

Hey, Coach! I really need to lose about 30 pounds for a wedding on June 4. I carry most of that in my hips and buttocks. What’s the best type of cardio that I should do to ensure that I meet my goal? Enjoy your column. Thanks.

Signed+..Ready to Work

Dear Ready to Work: First, let’s make sure that you know that this is not just about cardio. The Coach knows a few people who work out like crazy, and they don’t lose any weight. To put it mildly, their nutritional habits are not good. So, let’s talk nutrition first because it is possible to lose weight without exercising. Of course, a perfect world includes appropriate nutrition and cardio, and even some strength training. You are encouraged to somewhat limit your portions, while still having nutritious and healthy meals. Try to eliminate as much sugar and fat as possible, to include sodas, cakes, cookies and junk food, and go easy on things that contain flour as a primary ingredient. Regarding cardio, the Coach is going to suggest that you try several kinds so that you find something that you like and to keep things fresh. For instance, swimming, jogging and biking can offer intense workouts, if you push yourself. There are obviously others, so find a couple of things that agree with you and go for it. Perhaps a good suggestion is to find a partner and start slowly. If you have been inactive for some time, please consult your primary- care physician. After you have worked your way through a few workouts, then start to turn up the volume and really work hard. You are encouraged to engage in moderate to intense cardio for 60-90 minutes on most days of the week and drink plenty of water. If your schedule does not offer that much time in one shot, divide the time in half and do two workouts a day, if necessary. Your success probably will come down to just one thing: How much do you really want this?

Best wishes for success.

You can contact the Coach at askthecoach2003@yahoo.com.

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