Cure for holiday blues could be a meal away
Loneliness, sadness and stress have become common elements of the holiday period, but they don’t have to be overwhelming and can even be averted, according to area mental health professionals.
Simply going places to be around people may not be the answer to the problem, but getting involved with others could provide a solution, according to Joy Reckley-Murphy, director of outpatient services at Chestnut Ridge Counseling Services in Uniontown.
“Reach out to people. Volunteering is a great way that we recommend,” Reckley-Murphy said.
Reckley-Murphy said it’s also important to accept that it’s okay to feel sad whether it’s because you are missing a loved one, whether it is because of death or because of distance, or for some other reason.
“The first thing is to just acknowledge how you feel. Take time to cry and don’t force yourself to be happy,” Reckley-Murphy said.
Reckley-Murphy said that if you truly just want to be alone, know that it’s okay to say no and to use the time for your own special pursuits such as a hobby, but still be sure to take care of basics such as eating properly and getting enough sleep.
Reckley-Murphy said it’s also important to have realistic expectations. If there is stress between family members, accept the situation for what it is, the individuals for who they are and remember that it’s only for a day.
“Holidays don’t have to be perfect. Families change and traditions change,” Reckley-Murphy said.
A meal or get-together with friends, neighbors, church members or coworkers may replace a traditional family dinner and gift exchange, replacing your family of origin with your family of choice,” said Bethany Connors, clinical director of the Family Behavioral Resources Outpatient Clinic in Uniontown.
“Embrace that. Find the people who can support you. Find those people you can be close to instead of isolating,” Connors said. “Holidays are really a difficult time for a lot of people, and we need to remember that.”
Connors said the holidays can be particularly difficult for seniors, who may have outlived their contemporaries and immediate family members. While a number of social service organizations offer special programs around the holidays, the holidays may still remain a lonely time.
“Suicides are higher among the elderly at the holidays. We should have more outreach in the community,” Connor said.
One area lawmaker, state Rep. Tim Mahoney, D-South Union Twp., is offering such an outreach at Christmas, using his own money. Mahoney, his family and volunteers from his staff are hosting their fourth annual Christmas Day dinner.
“Four or five years ago, I was in church and the priest was talking about sharing and all that. Here I am, I have a wedding hall and everything anyone would want and I thought this would be a way of giving back,” Mahoney said.
Mahoney said he has been overwhelmed by the response. Last year, there were about 250 people served.
“It’s not just the poor people, it’s the elderly and folks who are by themselves. It’s a heart-warming experience for anyone who comes to eat or to volunteer,” Mahoney said. “We get families, we get seniors. I had a couple Marcellus shale people last year — some of those people were here alone.”
Mahoney said this is a Christmas tradition he will continue whether he is in office or not.
“This is one of the most important things I could ever do for people. It’s very heart-warming,” Mahoney said.
Mahoney said the first year his family and members of his staff’s families served as the volunteers for the traditional holiday meal of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and vegetables. There are now more than 100 volunteers for the event that will be held at the Cabaret at 62 W. Peter St. in Uniontown.
Mahoney is inviting anyone who would like to attend the dinner from noon until 2 p.m., regardless of their circumstances.
“It’s not about what you have or what you don’t have; it’s about not being alone,” Mahoney said.