Single father says he gives his all for his son
Video: http://bit.ly/19G6ZVi
Frank Belvin said people are usually surprised to discover he’s a single father.
“We’re definitely out there,” said Belvin, 26, of South Union Township, whose son, Frank Belvin Jr., turned age 6 years in May. “A lot of times, people say it should be the other way around. But we’re here. Fathers care about their children as much as mothers do.”
The U.S. Census Bureau reported there were 1.96 million single fathers in the country in 2012, making up 16 percent of single parents. About 44 percent were divorced, 31 percent were never married, 20 percent were separated and 5 percent were widowed.
Belvin, who has never married, works full time for a human services agency and has been a single father since his son was 6 months old. He’s built a life with Frankie in an apartment they share with a pet lizard named Spinasauraus Belvin. It has all the signs of a typical family home, including toys and a child’s artwork on the refrigerator. Belvin cooks, cleans and plays with Frankie, who recently finished kindergarten at Clark Elementary School in the Laurel Highlands School District.
“When I was younger, I didn’t have much responsibility. I felt the world revolved around me,” he said. “But when I had a kid, I straightened up. He (Frankie) was born and my life changed completely.”
More than anything, Belvin said he wants to provide a stable life for his son — something Belvin lost when he became a teenager.
Born in Uniontown, Belvin moved to the state of California when he was 6 months old with his mother and stepfather, Tia and Jason Lewis. They stayed seven years and then spent another five in Seattle, Wa.
“When I was 12, my mother called me into the living room and gave me the phone and that’s when I found out who my real father was,” said Belvin.
Belvin explained he moved to Brownsville with his mother and two brothers as she tried to make a relationship with his birth father, but it didn’t work out. Belvin has no relationship with him.
Life was difficult and Belvin’s mother left home when he was 15. Belvin was homeless for a while before being taken in by the family of a friend. He graduated from Brownsville Area High School in 2004 when he was 17. That same year, his mother and stepfather were trying to mend their relationship but his stepfather died. Today, Belvin’s mother is in a nursing home in Mount Pleasant.
After high school, Belvin began working different jobs. He was 20 when his son was born and life changed once again.
“The first time I saw him, I had flashbacks to my childhood of my stepfather being there and my real father not being there,” Belvin said. “He knows that his dad is here no matter what.”
Belvin and his son’s mother didn’t marry, and he soon realized he would begin a life of single fatherhood.
“It was pretty scary,” said Belvin. “I turned 21 not long after that. It was a complete change from caring about myself to caring for another life. I didn’t have anybody to turn to. It was me figuring it out on my own. I think I’ve done a pretty good job so far.”
That included learning about diapers and bottles, although Belvin did ask advice about what to feed his son as he was growing. Frankie didn’t wake up a lot as a baby but that didn’t stop Belvin from waking up throughout the nights just to check on his son.
“I’m not as tired as I used to be. I learned to function on a few hours sleep,” he said.
Belvin also learned to cook.
“I was too embarrassed to ask anybody, so I taught myself,” he said.
Belvin, who has also become a member of Abundant Life Church, said throughout his learning experience of fatherhood, there were many difficult days, but he has learned some important lessons.
“When both parents are around, it’s easier. I think mothers have more patience. I’ve learned patience over the years,” he said.
The Belvins have plenty of good times, too, including movies, restaurants, fishing and the Y.
“He’s an amazing kid,” said Belvin. “He has the most elaborate imagination of any kid. He was just flying on a magic carpet. He loves to play.”
Belvin treated Frankie by recently taking him on a vacation to DisneyWorld in Florida where Frankie, who climbed onto his father’s lap, recalled they met Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and saw the new movie “Epic.” And then, in an instant, Belvin experienced panic like any parent when something wrong happens. Frankie choked on a chicken bone at a Florida restaurant, causing him to pass out and he was taken to the hospital.
“It was terrifying,” Belvin said.
Belvin readily admits it takes a village to raise a child, and he counts on his friends John Stewart, Elijah Rechichar, Rob Martin, Justin Binion and Mike Anderson for help. Stewart and his family watch Frankie when Belvin is at work at Fayette Resources in Allegheny County, helping adults with developmental disabilities become active members of the community. Belvin keeps in touch with his brother Justin Lewis, who was adopted by his best friend’s parents, and every other weekend, Frankie goes for a visit. He calls Lewis’ adopted parents his grandparents.
“They are there when we need them,” Belvin said, also noting he receives help from friend Tracie Baker, who is a foster mother. Frankie calls her Mama Tracie.
There are times that Frankie asks about his birth mother, but Belvin said he is not ready to talk.
“When the time is right, we’ll talk about it and he’ll understand,” said Belvin.
As for marriage, Belvin was in a relationship for a year that didn’t work out. He takes blame for the failure but is hopeful that he’ll marry some day.
And he’s planning for the future.
“I recently bought a house and I’m remodeling it for us to move in. I’m also in college, studying administration of justice at Penn State Fayette,” Belvin said. “We’ll figure it out. I always wanted to be a police officer. We’ll see what happens after I’m done with school.”
Frankie’s future is important to Belvin, who wants his son to have a stable home, excel in school and go immediately to college. He also realizes what is important about being a father.
“I don’t pay attention to what other people say. I listen to what he says and the things he picks up from me,” said Belvin. “He’s picking up qualities at an early age that will make him a better man.”
Belvin is enjoying life with his son, including Father’s Day, although he noted that Frankie makes Mother’s Day gifts at school for him as well.
“I tend not to think about Father’s Day until it comes up, and I reminisce about everything we’ve gone through. Prior to becoming a dad, it was just another day for me,” Belvin said. “I’ve come a long way.”
Visit HeraldStandard.com to watch a video of Frank Belvin and his son.