Dating dangers: Abusive behavior prevalent in teen relationships
Teenagers are facing new obstacles while navigating healthy relationships and psychological abuse when dating.
According to a report from the Associated Press, abusive dating behavior is pervasive among America’s adolescents. A new, federally-funded survey says a majority of boys and girls who date describe themselves as both victims and perpetrators.
“There are trends between males and females calling each other ‘street-names’ or something funny. These names, by adult standards, can seem somewhat disrespectful, but to the teens, using them is quite commonplace,” said Elizabeth Giachetti, executive director of CPP Behavioral Health in Uniontown.
In Fayette County, there are resources like CPP, as well as the Crime Victims Center, Domestic Violence Services and school guidance counselors to guide teens through adolescent years and abusive behavior in dating.
“Teens that are in relationships where they hear the words pathetic, ugly, disgusting, stupid, ugly, slut, whore, loser and many more leave long lasting wounds,” said Giachetti.
“These words can haunt a teen for a significant amount of time. The teens internalize the feelings of anger, hate and sadness, and do not know how to deal with the overwhelming feelings due to the psychological abuse,” she continued.
Some of the problems in dealing with abuse dating behavior is its perception and its ability to deceive those involved. By the time someone realizes a certain behavior is unhealthy, it might be too late.
“The controlling behavior is sometimes not recognized until after the teen is too involved in the relationship,” said Giachetti. “It’s not until they break up that all of the signs are seen. Psychological abuse hurts and it impacts teens every day.”
Sponsored by the National Institute of Justice, the National Survey on Teen Relationships and Intimate Violence was conducted by NORC at the University of Chicago, a prominent research center which provided preliminary results to The Associated Press. Input came from a nationwide sample of 667 youths aged 12-18 who’d been dating within the past year and who completed a self-administered online questionnaire.
Nearly 20 percent of both boys and girls reported themselves as victims of physical and sexual abuse in dating relationships — but the researchers reported a startling finding when they asked about psychological abuse, broadly defined as actions ranging from name-calling to excessive tracking of a victim. More than 60 percent of each gender reported being victims and perpetrators of such behavior.
Elizabeth Mumford, one of the two lead researchers for the survey, acknowledged that some of the behaviors defined as psychological abuse — such as insults and accusations of flirting — are commonplace but said they shouldn’t be viewed as harmless.
“None of these things are healthy interactions,” she said. “It’s almost more of a concern that our gut reaction is to accept this as natural.”
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, in its campaigns against teen dating violence, also stresses the potential seriousness of psychological abuse.
“Teens often think some behaviors, like teasing and name calling, are a ‘normal’ part of a relationship,” says a CDC fact sheet. “However, these behaviors can become abusive and develop into more serious forms of violence.”
Bruce Taylor, the other lead researcher for the NORC survey, said the overall abuse figures were higher than previous national studies of dating abuse, revealing “the startlingly widespread nature of this problem.”
Using a definition under which adolescent relationship abuse can occur in person or through electronic means, in public or private, and between current or past dating partners , the survey estimates that 25 million U.S. adolescents are victims and nearly 23 million are perpetrators.
Taylor and Mumford said the high rates in their survey may stem in part from youths being candid due to the privacy of the online format. They also suggested that dating abuse is now so common that young people have little concern about admitting to it.
“The mental impact on teens is low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol abuse, education decline, suicide and never thinking they are good enough,” said Giachetti. “My favorite thing to use in counseling teens is that I ask them, ‘Are you going to allow someone else to define you or destroy you?'”
Giachetti added that it’s crucial to help teens set boundaries and seek out local programs, especially at a young age.
The Associated Press contributed to this report.