Local counselors share tips on talking with kids about terror attacks
Kellie Mikluscak, a counselor at CPP Behavioral Health, stops for a portrait inside her office in Uniontown on Thursday.
Co-Owner of Momentum Couples and Family Counseling Megan David stops for a portrait inside her office in Uniontown on Thursday.
Fiesta
Kate Vozar, licensed professional counselor, says when parents talk with kids on terror attacks she recommends making sure kids feel they can talk to someone about their concerns and developing a safety plan in case of an emergency situation.
Local counselors said the recent bombing after an Ariana Grande concert in Manchester hit close to home for some children who are fans of the pop star.
“I had a little girl tell me, ‘I am never going to go to a concert,'” said child therapist Kellie Mikluscak at CPP Behavioral Health in Uniontown. “We don’t want children to live that way. We don’t want them to live in fear.”
Therapists said that because children may have knowledge of the attack, it is a good opportunity for parents to talk to their children about the realities of a world that is sometimes dangerous and teach them to accept those who seem different from them.
Mikluscak said simply defining the word “terrorism” can help a child better understand broad situations. She defined the word as “extreme hatred and extreme violence” based on beliefs.
“Use it as a teachable moment. Just because others are different doesn’t mean we have to treat them differently,” she said.
Counselors said it is important to observe how a child is gaining their information, limit their social media intake and, depending on age, direct them to accurate news sources.
Jim Fiesta, licensed clinical social worker and therapist at Riverstones Counseling Center in Connellsville, said parents should observe children for excessive interest in a tragic event. Frequently talking about it and continually searching for information online can be red flags.
He said it is important to speak calmly, specifically and intentionally when addressing the subject.
“It’s important to find out what the kid already knows, what their peers are speaking about, what they’re learning from teachers. Learn what is already being absorbed, and then pick out all the parts that are either irrational or inaccurate,” he said.
Counselors said the next step should be developing a safety plan both to make a child feel more secure and provide safety in an emergency situation.
“It’s almost like preparing for a storm,” said Kate Vozar, licensed professional counselor at PA Health Professionals, which has locations in Uniontown and Washington. “They have a safety plan that makes them feel more in control in case something does happen.”
Megan David, co-owner of Momentum Couples and Family Therapy in Uniontown, said parents can go one step further with encouraging their children to take action by volunteering to help victims, make donations, send cards or “anything to give back and get them connected.”
David and Vozar said it is important to point out the safety measures that are currently in place in public areas and to discuss how those measures are often a reaction to tragic events.
Vozar highlighted examples of safety measures at schools limiting access to the building. David discussed increased security at airports following the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001.
“As a nation, we respond and work on making things safer. Talk to them, make them more aware of the increases in safety that we’ve made,” David said.
Vozar said it is important for children to feel like they can talk about their concerns because some fearful youth may arm themselves out of an irrational fear.
“You want to avoid children and pre-teens feeling like they need to take matters into their own hands. There are people to talk to. There are people that can make them feel safe,” Vozar said.
David said to watch an anxious child for “vicarious trauma” which can manifest itself with disrupted sleep, problems concentrating or stomachaches.
“This stuff is scary for us too,” said Vozar. “Knowing we live in a world where we can’t entirely protect our kids is scary, and that’s OK. It’s OK to be scared together.”