Mother’s Day is extra special for foster mothers
Mark Hofmann | Herald-Standard
Kim Richter if Dunbar plays with her son, Michael, 2, whom she and her husband adopted from foster care. They have been welcoming foster children in their home for the past five years.
Mark Hofmann | Herald-Standard
Mark Hofmann | Herald-Standard
Mark Hofmann | Herald-Standard
Mark Hofmann | Herald-Standard
Kim Richter of Dunbar plays with her son, Michael, 2, whom she and her husband adopted from foster care. They have been welcoming foster children in their home for the past five years.
Mark Hofmann | Herald-Standard
Kim Richter of Dunbar expects her Mother’s Day will be loud.
She’s got five children in her Fayette County home: her adopted son, Michael, and four foster children.
“There’s a lot of love in this house,” she said.
While Richter and Tera Newman of Latrobe, Westmoreland County, celebrate motherhood with their own children today, they will also celebrate the love and bonds they share with the many children they have and continue to foster in their homes.
Richter got involved in fostering several years ago, when she took in the children of a family member who needed help through a kinship care program.
“I didn’t realize the need for foster care until then,” Richter said.
She said she was empathetic to the children who were stuck in situations they didn’t create, and realized quickly how important it is to have stable foster families available to take them in. She and her husband knew they had to help.
“Then the phone kept ringing for five years, and here we still are,” she said. “Once you start helping, you just can’t get out of it.”
For Newman, it was a conversation with a co-worker in a juvenile correctional facility who was a foster parent that piqued her interest.
She thought about the good she could do, and with her husband, decided three years ago that they would open their home to help.
At the time, Newman’s biological children were 5 and 7. As children are wont to do, they asked a lot of questions, wondering why the foster children couldn’t be with their parents, too.
“When you’re adding other children in the mix, it can be hard for our kids to understand the reasoning behind everything,” Newman said.
Three years and 16 foster children later, the family has become used to getting into new routines and acclimating new arrivals to their home and a new way of life.
Both women said finding a routine — and the accompanying normalcy that it brings — is a big part of making foster children feel at home.
“Structure is a challenge,” said Richter, who once had seven children in her home, all under the age of 5.
“It’s very challenging, but with those challenges come rewards,” said Newman, who is fostering children ages 1, 5, 11 and 17.
The women said they also reap rewards as foster moms, finding happiness watching the children flourish and succeed while meeting developmental milestones.
“When you’re tired and worn out and one of them says, ‘I had five mommies, and you’re my favorite’, it’s those little moments that come back to you,” Richter said. “It’s both heartwarming and heartbreaking.”
After so many years as a foster parent and so many children making her house their home, Richter said she’s thankful for Fayette County CYS’s program Bridging the Gap, which allows kids to contact their foster parents after they left the home by permission of the biological parents.
“My heart gets so wrapped up in these kids,” Richter said, adding that some kids even come back for a weekend or two. “It’s hard to let them go home and getting to stay in touch helps.”
Newman said with few exceptions, foster children who are no longer with her have kept in touch.
“Some of them know we’re a support system for them,” Newman said of her, her children and her husband, Dustin.
The women said that bond extends to Mother’s Day.
Richter said she receives phone calls and Facebook messages from those previous foster children, wishing her well on the day dedicated to honoring moms. She said she’s touched that the kids that have come and gone still think of her as their mother.
For this year’s Mother’s Day, Newman said they’ll go to her grandmother’s house for a large get together. Her 17-year-old foster child is going to his biological mother’s house to celebrate.
“Others look at you as their mom, so it depends,” Newman said.
Richter, who has three adult children in their 20s with her husband, Rob, said she receives nothing but support from her family in raising the foster children and encourages others to consider opening their hearts and homes.
“I’d love to see more people get involved,” Richter said. “There’s such a need.”
Newman said if someone cannot be a foster parent, they could help a foster family by giving them a meal on the day they bring the new kids in or donating clothing as often the children arrive with just the clothes on their backs.
“The need for these children to have a loving and safe and secure environment is great,” Newman said. “If not for foster care, where would they be?”