Oct 22, 2002 4 min read

It was a domestic disturbance call. The second one early Saturday morning to the same Pershing Court apartment. Uniontown police arrived just in time to watch 25-year-old Darnell Poole shoot himself. Inside LeAnna Settles’ home, police found Gerald Cook barely alive. He was rushed to Uniontown Hospital, where he died. The bloodshed this weekend has focused a spotlight on domestic violence in a way all the candlelight vigils and campaigns launched during Domestic Violence Awareness Month could not. Family disputes can be deadly.

Earlier this month Domestic Violence Services of Fayette County hosted a rally on the steps of the courthouse. The vigil honored those who have survived, those who are still struggling and those who have died because of domestic violence. Even as the vigil was taking place, fliers were circulated looking for help in finding the man who just days before had broken into a Uniontown woman’s home and repeatedly struck her, another woman and two children with a baseball bat.

Saturday’s tragedy adds more names to the list. All three families will mourn. They will need to comfort the children left behind while filled with questions for which there will never be answers. There are other victims as well. The police officers who watched a man commit suicide, unable to prevent the tragedy. And the ambulance and hospital workers who never become used to such senseless acts.

Fayette County in recent years has devoted money, manpower and much time to addressing domestic violence. Each year the number of women seeking protection from the courts continues to rise. Perhaps not because the crimes are occurring with more frequency, but because women are realizing this isn’t the way life should be lived.

Some women report the crimes but then lack the ability to carry through with prosecution. Either they believe their man or the situation has changed or they fear retaliation.

Sadly, all too often domestic violence escalates from put downs and intimidation to physical beatings.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence suggests that women ask themselves these questions:

Does you partner: Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family? Put down your accomplishments or goals? Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions? Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance? Tell you that you are nothing without them? Treat you roughly – grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you? Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?

Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you? Blame you for how they feel or act? Pressure you sexually for things you aren’t ready for? Make you feel like there “is no way out” of the relationship? Prevent you from doing things you want – like spending time with your friends or family? Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”?

Do you: Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act? Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior? Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself? Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry? Feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you? Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want? Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?

Anyone who needs help in figuring out the safest way to leave a destructive relationship should call Domestic Violence Services at 724-437-2530. They can, and will, help.