Dec 16, 2003 4 min read

They all look alike to me. With so many products available today it’s not hard to fathom that some of the packaging in which they come might be similar.

For example, some years ago not just toothpaste but also shaving cream came in the same type of tube. And how many different household and personal products does an aerosol can contain?

So, is it surprising that every once in a while some mishap occurs to remind us to be very, very careful about what we put on our face, hands, feet, knees, etc.

I mean, who hasn’t picked up a can of hairspray and applied it as deodorant. Or what unsuspecting soul didn’t once grab a can of dog food thinking it was beef stew or soup?

I recall some years ago walking into a grocery store and, upon seeing what I thought was a really great deal on a pound of margarine (19 cents) grabbed a couple and tossed them into my shopping cart. Of course when I took out a stick (this was in the days when soft spread hadn’t yet hit the market) and unwrapped it, I thought it looked a little more pale than the usual yellow stuff I spread on sandwiches, toast, pancakes and other foods. It also didn’t spread very well, ripping gaping holes in the first piece of toast to which I applied it.

And it had the oddest taste. After all these signals that something was definitely amiss I finally took the box out of the fridge and examined it. It looked like a box that margarine would come in. It was flat. It held four neatly wax-wrapped sticks of the stuff. But, as I read the label more closely, I realized I had just tried to spread lard on my bread.

There was another time when, some years later, my lovely wife and I were busy preparing a meal for guests when I poured what I thought was milk into the cooked potatoes preparing to turn them into mashed potatoes. They immediately thickened to the point where I could barely stir them. I got the milk out of the fridge and tried adding more to smooth them out. It didn’t seem to work. I added more and more milk until finally they were mushy enough to serve. It wasn’t until later, when my wife was looking for a cup with milk and cornstarch with which to make gravy did I realize what had happened.

But things like that happen every so often.

Case in point.

My wife has a beauty regimen she undertakes each evening before retiring. She has special cream she applies to her face, elbows and hands to keep the skin soft. The tube in which the special cream is kept rests on her bathroom sink along with tubes containing things for her hair, teeth, eyes and other parts.

So it wasn’t anything out of the normal for her to go into her bathroom and return to the living room a few minutes later after having rubbed and preened and beautified herself. Only this time she sat down and after about a minute or two proclaimed, “I think I just put hair gel on my face.’

“Oh,’ I said. “Is that something new?’ I asked that because we were watching a TV show only the night before where one older woman offered a tip to a younger woman about using some kind of cream on her wrinkles, cream that was meant to be used on another part of her body.

“No,’ my wife protested. “It’s not something new. The tubes look a lot alike and I must have picked up the wrong one.’

Apparently the stuff inside the tubes also looks very similar.

Anyway, she returned to the bathroom, washed her face and applied the face cream.

Of course you have to ask the obvious question.

Did her face look better with the hair gel or face cream?

Well, I don’t think she has enough wrinkles to worry about, maybe because she is so attentive to her nightly regimen. How’s that for diplomatic.

But her face had a certain glow to it. With the hair gel, I mean. Skin looked awfully smooth, too. Her smile was a little stiff, though.

What’s the moral? All I know for sure is I’m thankful that margarine comes in tubs nowadays. My cholesterol is high enough. Or maybe we should just read before we spread.

Have a good day.

Jim Pletcher is the Herald-Standard’s business editor. E-mail: jpletcher@heraldstandard.com.