Wife’s prank rousts sleeper from bed early
I didn’t see the humor in it. Mondays have an infamous reputation. It’s the first day of the work week or school week, which means children and adults start over what they ended two days before: It’s either back to work or back to school after the two-day hiatus we call a weekend.
But in this business, the workday can begin and end at all hours. Staff also get vacations, and that usually means other staff members have to fill in for them when they are off.
So on a recent Monday, I was scheduled to come into the office later in the day to help out on the copy desk. I call that easing into the week since I don’t have to show up in the early morning.
And I informed my lovely wife of the fact. Several times, since I knew she would likely forget and I certainly didn’t want her roughly rousting me out of bed because she forgot that I didn’t have to go into the office until later in the day.
Now, I’m not known as one who pops out of bed every morning like a just-done piece of toast out of an electric toaster. People who can awaken and then get up Jack-in-the-Box-like amaze me.
They seem to have some invisible “on’ button that someone pushes, instantly restoring them to alertness.
My “on’ button must be broken, or else it’s poorly connected to whatever it is that restores human vitality after a lumbering night’s sleep
I open an eye, shuffle, sloth-like under the covers for a moment or two, open the other eye, groan, cough and then go back to sleep. Repeating that scene several times is what used to drive my mother mad when she tried to get me out of bed to go to school. Even pouring cold water on my head didn’t seem to do the trick.
I have always had this problem.
Starting my first real job after college I placed the alarm clock on the other side of my bedroom, knowing if it was within an arm’s reach I’d just turn it off and go back to sleep. Did that tactic work? Not well.
Most mornings I’d stumble, still half asleep, across the room, turn off the alarm, and then get back under the covers. Later, it would be a mad scramble dashing about, showering, shaving and all that, to get to the office on time.
Anyway, wherever I go in my sleep takes a long, long time from which to return when I wake up.
Sunday evening, I once more reminded my wife that I didn’t have to get up the following morning. I stayed up later than usual, reading, and then turned in.
The next thing I recall is being disturbed in the middle of a dream. Peering out from under the cover, I looked up at my wife’s face.
“Jim, get up or you’ll be late for work,’ she said, smiling.
For a moment I thought I was still dreaming. There was no way she could forget that I didn’t have to get up.
“You’ve got to be kidding…,’ I started. She interrupted, saying, “Now doesn’t that make you feel better to know that you don’t have to get up but can go back to sleep? I’d be happy if someone told me that.’
She was teasing me. But she had to wake me up to do it.
Like I said earlier, I failed to see the humor.
And I think I’m a pretty fun-loving guy.
Do you think the next time I’m wide-awake at 4 a.m. I should shake her shoulder and offer the same sentiment?
“Hey, isn’t it nice to know that it’s 4 a.m. but you can just roll over and go back to sleep because it’s not time to get up yet?’
I’ll let you know what happens. Oh, and by the way, I may need a place to sleep after I do it.
Have a good day.
James Pletcher Jr. is business editor at the Herald-Standard. He can be reached at (724) 439-7571 or e-mail to Jpletcher@heraldstandard.com