Dec 24, 2006 By Elizabeth Jane Georgiana 6 min read

A few years ago, my father passed away. He was my best friend and I still miss him very much. My mother passed 10 years before. As the paramedics wheeled her out the kitchen door, he looked at me and said, ” I am moving in with you.” My life would never be the same.

After my father’s death, there was a lot of debt incurred. We had been living, as they say, on borrowed time. The tenants from his properties never paid their rents. There were a few that did, most had a story. He was a property owner for lower income people. Instead of evicting them, he would take them to the hospital or buy them food. I asked him one night where he was going, he said to buy cigarettes for a tenant at one of his apartment’s buildings. I asked if this man was in a wheelchair. My fathers response was “No, he just does not have the money and I am going to get them for him.’

Yet another case, a young girl who had a miscarriage while living in his apartment building. He was worried about her. Called a doctor for her and helped her get medication. There was an elderly woman who had no family or friends. She was very sick. My father drove his car to pick up his tenant, took her to the hospital and spent several hours waiting for her in the emergency room. I am quite sure he let her rent slide too. He worried about people. Every Sunday after we had dinner, he would pack up a special plate for the custodian of his apartment building and take it to him. Of course, I was the one to say “why?” He would say, “Paul needs something to eat.”

My father died alone, with me by his side. He had spent everything he ever had on his family and loans to many, many friends.

He never asked for the money back. It was always business on a handshake! He was a simple man with basic needs.

He would look at me and say, “If I had the money I loaned everyone, I would be a wealthy man today” He had so much more than money could do for him. He had the gift of loving life and people. He died with Medicare, no supplemental insurance and a lot of debt. He was a very proud man and I do not want your sympathy for him. He is in a better place now and led a wonderful life!

After his death, a newly acquainted friend suggested she help me move. There was quite a lot of stuff. I remember her saying “What do you want this old stuff for.” There has not a day gone by, that I do not regret losing my memories associated with much that I lost.

I got up this morning and looked into my living room. For some reason, I looked at it in a different way. Things just seemed to shine out as never before. I saw a plate from a friend in the 70s, an egg given to me by a friend just before my father got sick, and a vase that held flowers from an old boyfriend. A picture and some quilts my mother hand made. Then I saw the crucifix belonging to my father. It was hanging over a golden rose given to me by a friend before my father’s death. I began to cry thinking, is this all there is to life? You save it and someone else throws it away. People are more important. Every piece of stuff, as this woman friend called my things in my home, is a reminder of everyone in my life. It is like listening to a song on the radio and remembering where you were at that time and what you were doing.

My father passed away Nov. 11, 2005. He would have been 86 on Dec. 11, 2005. I spent that Thanksgiving at a friend’s home, not family. Christmas I spent alone.

The best thing that has come out of the whole situation is I did not know how kind people could be. I did not realize how many friends I did have. I thought my father was my only friend, or maybe it is true we do have guardian angels. I know there are many people out there without a home, no friends, and no relatives.

At this moment there are people walking around as if their heart as been torn out.

It could be a death, someone’s illness , a fatal injury or just loneliness.. Be it husband, wife, child, brother or sister. You may even be thinking of an aunt, uncle, significant other or family pets of the past. You are thinking,” Did I make the right decision?” “What if?” “Maybe,” We blame ourselves; when in reality we miss them. The men and boys in Iraq, the military everywhere, Christmas is the culmination of everything that has happened in the past year. Families get together, presents and the family dinner.

I know Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. I am a saved Christian, but do not attend a church at this time. My family baptized me Catholic as a child; my opinion is not about being politically correct.

Christmas should be a time of peace and remembrance. Let us remember what Christmas is about this year and every day of our lives. Yes, go out and buy your stuff (it has become truly commercialized), but please try to remember those in need, those alone, those that are dying. Visit a nursing home, knock on the door of a neighbor down the street, and call a friend from the past. These things are more important than stuff.

Remember there are people not having Christmas. I do not have the statistics, but I believe the suicide rate is very high in this holiday season.

I personally think about the person who was my father and best friend. I think about my mother, who never knew I loved her because I was too busy having too much fun or just did not take the time to spend with her. I think about all the older people in the nursing home where my father spent his last week on this earth and how many patients had nobody visiting them.

My life has become better because of losing all of that stuff. Christmas is about people giving from your heart, not gifts, but time.

Christmas is the time to listen and look to our hearts, time for someone other than ourselves.

Elizabeth Jane Georgiana is a resident of Hopwood.