Jan 19, 2011 4 min read

It doesn’t make any difference to me that it’s just seasonal.

I’m no longer a winter person. Years ago, I was. I enjoyed trek-king through the snow and even saw the challenge of driving from one place to another through the white stuff. I was a cross-country skier, too, spending most of my weekends during a couple of consecutive winters sliding along trails and breaking paths through freshly fallen snow. I even entered a cross-country race, gliding along eight miles of track over hills and through woods.

Cold weather never seemed to bother me, even as a teenager

Those days are over.

I still don’t mind the cold weather. I can walk about outdoors in my summer shorts (although my lovely wife chides me, saying I look ridiculous). But I hate snow. I can’t think of enough adjectives to describe it. I think snow is awful

, beastly, dirty

, disagreeable

, fierce

, filthy

, foul

, gross

, grubby, horrible

, icky, loathsome

, lousy

, mephitic, murderous, nauseating, noxious

, objectionable, obnoxious

, obscene

, odious

, ornery

, outrageous

, raunchy

, repellent, repugnant

, repulsive

, revolting

, rough

, sickening, squalid

, stinking, tough

, unclean, unpleasant

, vile

, vulgar

and yucky.

Well, maybe I can think of enough adjectives after all.

Most come to mind when I have to clear the stuff off my car, the porch steps and the driveway so I can get to work with a minimum of slipping and sliding.

Fortunately, much of what has fallen so far has been white and fluffy. That means I can plug in my leaf blower and use its gale force to blow winter’s detritus away.

But it got to be a little too much one recent week when it seemed to snow every day, obliging me to drag out the leaf blower to clear the paths to the house and car.

My ire raised after about the third or fourth morning repeating this chore, I once more dragged out the leaf blower and began the familiar task. But the snow didn’t seem to want to move. It took longer than usual to create a path to the car. I shoveled some but returned to the blower to finish.

Of course, adding insult to injury, when I finally had the snow cleared away from the car door, I found it frozen shut. I thought it was still locked after yanking on the door handle to no avail. I pressed the button on my car remote and listened to the locking mechanism.

Nope. It wasn’t locked.

“Now what do I do,” I thought. “I could pour warm water on it. But the water will probably freeze and I’ll have a tough time getting the door open again.”

Frustrated, I headed into the garage, looking for something I could use to open the door.

Out of desperation, I got the electric hair dryer out of the bathroom, plugged it in and directed its hottest blast onto the edges of the door.

I really didn’t think it would be enough. Yet, my spirit was buoyed as I watched ice melting away. After just a few moments, the door easily opened.

By the time I reached the office, I was pooped.

“I hate winter,” I repeated under my breath as I climbed the 23 stairs to the office.

Readers will note there is one word I didn’t use to describe this terrible season: Ugly.

It may be (all of the above adjectives and then some) but it’s anything but ugly.

But that’s as much a concession as I will give winter.

Have a good day.

James Pletcher Jr. is Herald-Standard business editor. He can be reached at 724-439-7571 or by e-mail at jpletcher@heraldstandard.com

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