Tea party appraised
I am a tea partier. I became one when a Democrat became president. It wasn’t because he’s black. (I’m no racist. I haven’t used the N-word in years.) And it wasn’t because he supports indefinite imprisonment without due process, domestic spying, torture, assassination of U.S. citizens (and others) abroad and perpetual war — so do I.
I became a tea partier because our president palled around with terrorists as a child. It was because he was a community organizer and “community” sounds alot like “communism.” It was because he’s a radical Christian and a secret Muslim, a socialist and a Nazi, and maybe even the anti-Christ himself who probably got into the country across our Kenyan border.
How do I know so much? Fox News. It’s like school, but I don’t have to read, and I don’t. And unlike school, Fox News doesn’t try to brainwash me. They simply repeat their facts over and over again until I can repeat them over and over again. Then they let me decide. They let me decide.
Fox News taught me that the creation of the /Department of Homeland Security helped cut spending and got the government out of my business, that launching a few wars cut spending even further, and that now that Bush-initiated tax cuts have finally stayed the same, ambitious wealthy Americans can begin putting lazy poor citizens to work.
Fox News is where I learned the art of debate. For instance, when some pinhead disagrees with me, I call him what he is, a commie lib. If he doesn’t shut up, I shout the loon down, and if he persists, I threaten the wacko. Maybe you caught a sample of my work at a townhall meeting a few years ago.
I thank Fox News for my education and for the tea party itself, because had Fox News not orchestrated and organized and financed and provided gushing 24/7 coverage of the tea party, our spontaneous, grassroots organization would never have gotten off the ground.
And none too soon either, because our country is under attack — by feminazis, gays, illegal immigrants, Muslims, environmentalists and unions. The solution is as simple as I am willing to think. Women belong in the home, gays in the closet, illegals in shallow graves and Muslims in church.
The free market will take care of the rest.
Steve Homer
McClellandtown