Dec 31, 2012 4 min read

I usually don’t like to announce my New Year’s resolutions. To me, they’re really only wishful, soon-to-be broken, commitments to myself. I’ve read that according to one study, 88 percent of the New Year’s resolutions fail.

In fact, in my 64 years, I’ve only managed to keep one New Year’s resolution. After being only a light drinker, back in 1989, I vowed (but only to myself) never to take another drink. I’ve been sober, except for that time I voted for that Republican, ever since.

This year is different. I’m putting myself into the precarious position of publicly putting my New Year’s resolutions on paper. This could be mighty dangerous.

Here goes. I will not mention what’s his name ever again.

And if somebody does mention Mitt Romney … oops! (See the above paragraph.)

I vow not to mention the name Rush Limbaugh. That is, without prefacing his name with the words “that pompous ass.”

During the entirety of 2013, I will, as frequently as possible, not watch Fox News.

I promise during the coming year, to work diligently to find at least one Republican I can agree with, on at least one issue. (This might be the toughest New Year’s resolution in the history of New Year’s resolutions.)

I am quite comfortable with high technology. I’ve worked with some form of computer technology since 1972. But in 2013, I will not buy an iPhone, iPad, iPod — or any other device that has a lower-cased word attached to some capitalized word. They just look funny to me.

After tomorrow, when somebody tries to tell me what the Founding Fathers meant, I’ll interrupt them mid-sentence and tell them what Daffy Duck meant. To be honest, I’m not a DaffyDuckologist. I just don’t care what some yahoo thinks the Founding Fathers meant.

Now for a brief moment of introspection — on paper.

I’m fully aware that some of the resolutions could be broken.

I’d mentioned that I’d avoid, at all costs, the torture of having to watch anything that emanates from Fox News. That isn’t always possible.

Let’s say I happen upon a wall of flat panels at Best Buy, with 29 of them showing Sarah Palin and her Fox News compatriot Greta Van Sustern talking politics.

And let’s say Palin claims she’ll do all that’s within her power to prevent President Obama from becoming a three-term president; I just might stop and watch for awhile. Or at least long enough for Van Sustern to explain to Palin how there’s no chance that can happen, for among a number of reasons, but not the least among them, that she really has no power.

Given the chance that I just might have one of those New Year’s resolution lapses, I can make a public vow that there are some of them I will not break.

I will not, for instance, hijack an airplane; jump in front of an approaching 18 wheeler; or climb a sequoia. Those things I can easily do without.

I’m still pondering whether I’ll willingly speak to a Republican in 2013. I’ll probably lift that ban in 2014 or ’15.

That could become a moot resolution. I do plan to register to vote as a Republican for one day. That should be fun, unless I cry myself to sleep and have to re-register as a Democrat the next day.

There is no better time than the New Year to give up those habits that you might think aren’t good for you, or aren’t good for the people around you. It’s quite common for people to try to stop eating too much or to cut down on binge drinking, and, in my case, to stop singing OUT of the shower.

In 2013, I resolve to get more exercise. I’ve made that resolution before. In fact, I make it every year. It’s good to make it in winter, because by the time it’s warm enough to take daily walks — I always forget I ever made it. I sure hope we don’t have a warm spell next week.

Edward A. Owens is a three-time Emmy Award winner and 20-year veteran of television news. Email him at freedoms@bellatlantic.net