Back to the basics on marriage
Wednesday’s U.S. Supreme Court rulings on the federal Defense of Marriage Act and California’s Proposition 8 are described as a victory for same-sex marriage.
But for those of us who still believe in traditional marriage — the vast majority of the world’s population — these rulings change nothing. It’s time to take a step back from the political and emotional fever surrounding this issue. As people of faith and as a nation, we need to get back to basics on marriage.
In the Judeo-Christian tradition — the great source of our civilization and laws — marriage is between one man and one woman. In the very first chapter of the Hebrew Bible, we read that God created male and female “in his own image.” In marriage, man and woman — the masculine and the feminine — belong together as a picture of who God is.
In 40 years of pastoral counseling, I have learned that when people deny this, everything that happens to them brings great confusion. This is especially true in the sexual area. Casual sex desecrates and wounds the soul and pains the conscience.
Tragically, in today’s society, the differences between man and woman are blurred and distorted. We celebrate women’s equality, but, in real life, women are abused and exploited as much as ever and treated as mere sex objects.
Marriages are no longer regarded as sacred. They are seen as experiments between two people who measure everything in terms of their own emotional and sexual fulfillment. When marriages fail, there is the option of no-fault divorce and a new attempt with another partner. Many people no longer even bother to make promises of faithfulness but rather just cohabitate.
It is this selfish culture without moral moorings that has prepared the way for same-sex marriage. Sadly, churches and religious communities have failed miserably in addressing this situation.
Today we must ask ourselves, “Why did God create man and woman in the first place?” All of us, including those who experience same-sex attractions, can and should live fulfilled and happy lives. But we will achieve this by embracing, not spurning, the age-old wisdom of our great faith traditions.
Johann Christoph Arnold is the senior pastor of Bruderhof Communities.