We must forgive others to find peace for ourselves
So how did you live your two weeks of freedom?
Why do you have that look on your face? Did you forget what our challenge was? Scratch that. Commitment was? We committed to give forgiveness a chance to work out some things in our lives. We vowed to forgive ourselves or others for offending us. Do you remember now? You still have that same look on your face? Are you confused? Constipated? Ha ha — I kid. Maybe that’s the look of conviction. You didn’t do it, did you? Well, I did it. I mean I tried to do it. I mean I attempted to forgive them. Alright…you got me. I didn’t do it yet. Its hard to forgive yourself. I think it takes more time than we think. Gratefully, I am a work in progress, and God isn’t finished with me yet. There is still hope for me on this one. And there is still hope for you too.
He’s funny you know. God I mean. He has a way of always confirming a word for me. Right after I talked with you about forgiveness, God used one of His servants to highlight and underline His point. She said, “As humans, when we are offended, we want justice served. But when we are the offender, we want mercy.” Isn’t that the truth, Ruth!?! Think about it. When people hurt us, we want them to receive the stiffest penalty. But when we hurt others, purposely or accidentally, we want mercy. Consider when you are driving a car. I am sure that each of us have had this experience — we are stopped at an intersection and an oncoming driver barely stops, cutting us off as we try to proceed down the road. We immediately become enraged and want to address the traffic violator. But how do we feel when do the same act? We want mercy. We want forgiveness. We meekly raise our hand to motion to the driver our apologies and hope that they will extend a kind gesture back. This might be a simple example and only a small glimpse into forgiveness, but it is a powerful reminder. Lets pause here for a moment and consider this “mirror moment.” Are we treating those who cross our path with the same mercy that we expect them to grant to us? Are we expecting others to give us mercy, something that we ourselves don’t have or give?
Forgiveness is not just something that we should just aspire to do. It’s something that we should do daily. But its also important to remember that its not just a simple act. Forgiveness is the “intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.” Granted, “our natural instinct is to recoil in self-protection when we’ve been injured. We don’t naturally overflow with mercy, grace, and understanding when we’ve been wronged.” However, forgiveness, mercy, is something that we are expected to grant unto others. A major theme, throughout the Bible, the Lord expects us to forgive each other. In Colossians 3:13, the scripture reads that we should “bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances [we] may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave [us] (NIV). Sounds easy right? No. Not so much. In Matthew, Peter asks Jesus, “Lord how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? Jesus answered, I tell you, not seven times, but 70 times seven.” (NIV, Matthew 18:21-22) Time out!
Did Jesus just lose his ever lovin mind!?! Did he just tell Peter that he must forgive his offender 70 times seven!?! Uh-huh. No way. See ya. (That line is from a movie. One of my mom’s favorite. Now back to the scripture.) How many of you could forgive someone 70 times seven? For those of us who pulled out calculators to compute that problem, the answer is 490 times. 490 times. We are expected to forgive someone 490 times! Shut to the up! If someone offended me that much and I had to forgive them that often, I might pull a Madea and say, “I’d be about to jump up and punch you in the face…If I wasn’t trying to get right with the Lord.” I’m serious. You probably feel the same way. Lord help us!
So why are we spending so much time talking about forgiveness? Well the answer is simple. Peace. Over the last two years, I have truly found peace in my life. Before my transformation, I was so easily offended by others. I would hold on to the pain that they caused me or my loved ones and wouldn’t let it go. I walked with that pain. I slept with that pain. I wore that pain. That pain robbed me of peace. Instead of taking time to forgive my offenders, I spent my time remembering how they offended me and remained a victim of their act. I limited by ability to love, to serve, and to live a full life. More often than not, I fooled others and still proceeded, living each day as if nothing was wrong. But nearly everything was wrong. I was a shell. I was a robot. It wasn’t until I landed right on my face and asked God to cleanse me of my sin and clear my heart and mind that I began my journey to peace. As I arched my back and lifted my head up from the floor (yeah — I was literally down on my face. Its like that sometimes.), I felt the Lord’s presence. Not audibly, but spiritually, He said to me, “let it go.” Over time, I realized that he was referring to the offenses that I had stacked up in my personal locker of unforgiveness. As I emptied out my locker and gave each offense to the Lord, my soul was lightened and the weight of the world was no longer mine to carry.
You, my friend, are living with a weight that is not yours to bear. The Lord has asked you several times to give it to him. Right now, as you are reading this, I want you to ask God into your heart. Give him your burden and let go of the past pains and hurts you are so desperately holding onto. Begin the process of forgiving your offenders and remember this verse. “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” Matthew 6:14
Gina Jones is a life-long resident of Fayette County and serves the community as an encourager, educator and advocate. Learn more about Gina at www.gmarieproductions.com.