Everyday should be Mother’s Day
(This column first ran Sunday, May 8, 2005)
Today is one of saddest days of the year for me.
My mom died about a year and a half ago from a cerebral hemorrhage, and I feel her passing more strongly today than any other time of the year. Looking at all the various items for sale commemorating Mother’s Day during a recent trip to the mall only reminded me of the void in my life since she died.
For some reason, her death seems to have hit home more so this year than last year. Several times during the week, I panicked as I thought I had forgotten to get a Mother’s Day card. Quickly, though, I realized the sad truth that there was no one to send it to.
Perhaps it has to do with the manner of her death. Her passing was quick, and it was a relief to know that she didn’t suffer. But because it was so quick, I never had a chance to say goodbye and tell her how much she meant to me. I know she knew I loved her, but it would have been nice to have told her that one final time.
She lived her whole life in Monaca, Beaver County, but she made friends wherever she went. She was definitely a people person. She had a way of making people feel at ease and a part of things.
The last of seven children born to Mark and Mary Seery, who came over to the U.S. from Ireland at the age of 17, she later married my dad and they went on to have eight kids. How they ever raised eight children on my dad’s modest income as a millworker is something I’ll never understand. Maybe it was the times, but I know the problems involved with raising two children, so I can only imagine everything that went into raising eight kids.
As usual, I didn’t fully appreciated what my parents did for me and my siblings until I became a parent myself.
She was a devout Catholic and going to Mass every Sunday was just a regular part of life. But she also loved having a good time. She enjoyed telling jokes and was always coming up with new stories to tell.
In addition to raising her family and going to church, she also found time for a number of other things. She served for many years as an officer in both the American Legion and Veterans of Foreign Wars auxiliaries in Monaca. She also did volunteer work for numerous causes, including the public library in Monaca.
What made it all the more remarkable was that she did all that with a variety of illnesses that would have sidelined most people. She had asthma since she was a child and always carried a inhaler near her to keep her breathing problems under control. The asthma later developed into emphysema, bringing on more complications. In addition, she had diabetes and high blood pressure.
Through it all, though, she never let up. And she never complained. She would gloss over her health problems, giving me only the most optimistic outlook on things. I would have to call my sisters and brothers to get the real story. For instance, I never knew she had diabetes until several years after she was diagnosed with the disease.
Time after time, she rallied from near deathbed situations. That’s why her death came as such a shock. We all knew that she wouldn’t give up without a gallant fight.
Never could we have imagined that she would go so quickly.
But like everyone, her time came. She left a legacy of love and service not just to her immediate family but to a very large extended family. She and four of her seven siblings had 33 children between them. Throw in another two nieces and two nephews on my father’s side and she had a total of 29 nephews and nieces.
It all made for some wonderful times growing up. Family get-togethers were great as we played all types of games and sports. The softball games, especially, were classic battles between different families with ever changing alliances and partnerships all in the name of a good time.
Over the years, though, I moved away and gradually lost touch with many of my cousins. But my mother never did. She knew everyone’s birthdays and attended all of their weddings. In addition, she knew all their children and kept tabs on all their activities.
Amazingly, almost all of my cousins still live in and around Beaver County, which made the task of keeping track of everyone a little easier. But we all know how hard it is to keep families together in this day and age, even if everyone lives within shouting distance of each other. Somehow she did it.
And it was never more clear than at the funeral home where my cousins streamed in with their families. The long faces on everyone, including the grand-nieces and grand-nephews, told it all. They weren’t doing this because they had to do it. They were doing it because they wanted to do it. It was obvious this was someone they all knew and loved. All but one niece and one nephew attended the funeral Mass. And the only reason they didn’t make it was because they weren’t able to get away from their jobs in North Carolina on such short notice.
The turnout was impressive. And you know she had to be smiling in heaven looking down and watching everyone talking and reconnecting. Her job was finally finished.
Mark O’Keefe is the editorial page editor of the Herald-Standard. He can be reached by e-mail at mo’keefe@heraldstandard.com or by phone at 724-439-7569.