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The best gift I ever gave myself

By Gina Watts 6 min read

Can you believe that its only 15 days until Christmas? I am so not ready! Typically, I am ready this time of year. I usually have my gifts bought and several of them wrapped. Ugh! I am so far behind. When I think about this time of year, I think about gifts. What is the most memorable gift you’ve ever received? Or how about the most memorable gift you’ve ever given?

For me, the most memorable gift I’ve ever received at Christmas is probably my “Cricket.” Do you remember her? She was a talking doll with blonde hair in two pig tails, a pink sweater with blue stripes, teal skirt, and pink shoes. She was the equivalent to Teddy Ruxpin. Now do you remember? She was a walking, talking cassette player. Books and cassette packages were sold separately. You took the cassette and placed it in her back (I think) and then she read or sang to you. Writing this description, I now realize that this was probably one of the most terrifying gifts a child living in the “age of Chucky” could ever receive. Thank God my television consumption was closely monitored. I could’ve been traumatized by this gift. Anyway, its still one of the most memorable gifts I received at Christmas.

How about gift-giving? What kind of gift giver are you? Do you consult folks before you make a purchase to see what they would prefer you buy them? Or do you love surprises and take extra time to find just the right gift? Or maybe you are one of those “I will buy whatever I like and give it to them even if they probably will never use it or wear it” gift-giver? You laugh, but I know you know someone like gift-giver number 3. Maybe you are laughing so hard because that best describes you. One thing that I’ve found to be true about number 3 type of gift-givers is that they are also the same people who buy souvenirs – multiple souvenirs – everywhere they go. They’ve got a shirt for every place they’ve ever been and the collectors’ spoon, thimbles, and magnets to match. They just have to buy stuff. I can’t do it. I have an unsaid rule about vacations – we do not buy souvenirs. Nope. No place for it. Souvenirs are best collected in the form of pictures and memories from experiences. You don’t need to buy a shirt to say that you went to Ocean City for the 40th year in a row. Like for real. Stop it. And I’m sure that everyone you buy a souvenir for is wishing you hadn’t. They don’t want a t-shirt. They’d rather you had taken them with you. Or better yet, they are happy you were gone ’cause they got a break from your crazy – that was the best gift they received. Ha!

My mom used to be a gift-giver number 3. She’s probably gonna kill me for writing this, but I’d say my mom is a combination of type 2 and type 3. God bless her. That woman is gift-giver. She loves to give gifts. I definitely get this gene from my mom. A few years ago, she stopped buying us gifts every time she went on a vacation or trip. She would buy us something because she really wanted us to know that she was thinking of us – no matter if we would really use, like, or wear the item. I would feel terrible because I would never end up wearing the shirt from the Bahamas. I didn’t need a t-shirt to know that she thought of me the whole time she was gone. She gave me a better gift by writing us notes and leaving them for each day that she was away. We always felt loved and missed because she was intentional to communicate that love before she ever left the house. Now that’s a memorable gift. I actually still have most of the notes she wrote.

I’d say that I am more of a type 2 gift-giver. Although I use techniques to find out what people like, I love to surprise them with their gifts. To see the look on people’s faces when they realize how much you were paying attention to what they say in every day conversations, is a priceless experience. I love it. I also get great joy of giving to folks who are willing to receive gifts. When folks are super hard to buy for because they either don’t want you to buy gifts for them, don’t want to feel indebted to you, or because they are just plain old grinches and misers, it takes away from the hard work you’ve done or would like to do to bless them and show your love.

One of the most memorable gifts I remember giving was actually a gift I gave to myself. After years of being a Grinch and unable to receive this gift or give this gift to myself, I finally opened my heart to forgiveness. I had held on to some pains from my past for far too long and allowed my opinion of me to become the truth about who I was. In this “post-truth” environment we currently live in, its easy for folks to believe opinions before we believe the facts about anything or any person – including ourselves. Right now, our world is a place where everything is true because every opinion matters and everything is fake because every opinion matters. Facts are unnecessary to make decisions about we should live or treat each other – including ourselves.

In 1 John 1:7-9, the Word of God says, that we should walk in the light because He (God) is light. It also says that if we claim to be without sin we are deceiving ourselves; but if we confess our sins, God will be faithful and forgive us. When I decided to believe in this truth and live out this scripture (which is a daily choice not a one-time thing), I set myself free from guilt and self-condemnation. I found that I should feel the weight of sin but not live in the guilt of sin. I found that no brokenness inside of me was more sovereign than Christ who died for me. I found that the gift of freedom was more powerful than any gift I had ever given or received. What gift will you give yourself this Christmas?

Gina Watts is a former resident of Fayette County, now living in Columbus, Ohio. She serves multiple communities as an advocate, educator, and leader. Follow Gina on Twitter @professorgmarie.

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