Relaxing Thanksgiving welcomed, but weird
I just had an epiphany. This is the first “black-Friday,” that I am not writing my article in the back room of Bath and Body Works store. Ha! Crazy. Oh how I miss my friends at BBW. I really do. But I sure don’t miss the crazy chaos of selling soaps, candles and lotions. And although I am grateful for less chaos and more rest this holiday, I am very aware that it might just be the chaos and the crazy that helped me bust out those articles of years past. I have been trying to write this article for the last several hours. Writer’s block? Maybe. Or maybe its just the environment. A change in environment can affect you in many ways. Let me explain.
This Thanksgiving was a different one for me. I didn’t have to rush to work right after our meal. I was able to cook with my husband, enjoy our meal with our son and my mom, and then relax. Relax. Its so weird. Anyway, I realized that as I get older, some of the experiences that have become habits or traditions in my life are starting to change. Change is a good thing — especially in this case. I miss my coworkers, a few extra dollars for the holidays and knowing when “candle sale day” is, but I prefer the relaxation.
A few other things have changed over the years as well. We don’t really have large family gatherings for the holidays anymore. When I was younger, we’d easily host no less than 20 people for a holiday meal. My mom has 2 sisters and 2 brothers. Each sibling had between two and four kids. As we all got older, those kids had kids. If every sibling, their children, grandchildren and now some great-grandchildren were to attend a holiday gathering, we’d have more than 70 people sit for one meal. Wow. God is so good. Even though we don’t get together as often as we’d like, each of us are now creating our own traditions and making memories with our smaller, immediate families. I miss those meals. My son misses those meals. He speaks fondly of them often. I didn’t realize how much they meant to him. I guess that’s how it goes. You don’t really know how important or meaningful something is until its gone or you stop doing it.
I have to agree with him. It was so much fun to get together. We joked, laughed, ate too much, fell asleep, then ate some more. My Uncle Jinks and Uncle Carl (who we affectionately called Uncle Brother — he was called Brother Sugar when he was little. Thus, when he grew up and become an uncle, he became Uncle Brother.) were the life of every meal. Uncle Jinks loved food…like a lot. He was diabetic and the Lord saw it fitting to give him a wife who was a diabetic nurse. At each family meal, we all waited with excitement, hopeful for Uncle Jinks to act up so that Aunt Carmen could yell at him for overeating. She was trying to keep him out of the hospital. He was trying to eat everything possible.
Their banter was joyful entertainment for all of us. I am confident Uncle Jinks did most of it on purpose. He loved messing with her, the love of his life. I miss his pranks and him begging me to be his accomplice and sneak him more food. Always the troublemaker that Jinks. Then there was Uncle Brother. He was a man of few words but those words had power and humor. He was a funny man who would encourage Uncle Jinks to act up, while telling his sister to calm down and let the man eat. Those two, like Laurel and Hardy, they were tag team of hilarity and foolishness. Uncle Jinks probably stood around 5 foot 5 inches (maybe shorter) and was a plump little man. Standing next to Uncle Brother, who stood 6 foot 3 inches (maybe taller), he probably looked even shorter and rounder. Oh those two. I miss them. They are both now gone and living the dream behind some pearly gates in a place called Heaven. I am so grateful to know that I will see them again. I miss those times, but I am grateful for the memories.
I believe memories are those carefully, carved out moments that God allows us to carry in our hearts. As time goes on, memories can fade. But if you take the time to write down your memories, or better yet, write down the moments as they happen, you will be able to read them, and hold on to those memories a little longer. One of the traditions that hasn’t changed is the “Why I am Thankful Book” my mom started 31 years ago. When I was 6 years old, my mom started taking a journal to each family meal and asked everyone present to write down why they are thankful. I got to read through those journals this week. I got to read everyone’s notes written in their own handwriting.
Reading words from family members who are no longer here was a blessing to my soul. I also read some notes from folks that are no longer around … well … because … they ain’t. Ya feel me? I then read my own notes. In 1991, I said, “Thank you Lord God for blessing me and my cousins in making decision; and staying off these streets … thank you for letting me see another day. Please let me see 12!” I have no idea what the heck that was about, but it was good to read. In 2008, Christian said he was thankful for his family and friends, his house, and his friends at Penn State. I’m sure that has to do with Rita letting him play basketball in the gym, Cheryl and Sherry entertaining him at their desks when he would come visit, and the Coal and Coke Festival I used to oversee that he still gives me grief about ending.
I am so grateful that my mom still continues this tradition. I cherish these notes and the memories that they carry. What traditions do you uphold during your holiday celebrations? What new traditions will you add? Maybe you should consider writing a Why I am Thankful Book. Its blessed our family for sure. Maybe it will bless your family too. Thanksgiving isn’t the only time we should be grateful, nor is it the only time we should document it. Keep track of all that is good. It will bless you greatly to read how good God can be and was in your life.
Gina Watts is a former resident of Fayette County, now living in Columbus, Ohio. She serves multiple communities as an advocate, educator, and leader. Follow Gina on Twitter @professorgmarie.