Sep 19, 2017 By Gina Watts 6 min read

Three hundred, sixty-five days ago, or 8,760 hours or 525,600 minutes or 31,536,000 seconds, I sat in a hotel room and wrote my last article as an unmarried woman. Filled with excitement and a little anxiety about the next day’s events coupled with an overwhelming feeling of exhaustion, I attempted to thoughtfully summarize for you how I got to that point … to the night before my wedding day. Do you know what this means? In my Tony Toni Tone voice, “Its our anniversary, anniversary.”

I can’t believe it. I am so grateful. I am in awe. I am humbled. I am loved. God, you are such a good, good Father.

Last year, I wrote about my favorite punctuation mark, the semicolon. Semicolons are punctuation marks in English grammar that are “used to connect two thoughts or ideas which are somehow similar. Generally, each though could be used as its own sentence, but the flow of the work may be interrupted by the short, choppy sentences.” Wow! Did you catch that!?! Semicolons create a better flow. I love semicolons. Although I tend to write to you in short, choppy sentences, my life tends to use more semicolons.

One year ago, as I wrote my article, it was a semicolon day. Yes. My life as an unmarried woman, only parent, do life on your own independent woman came to a “full stop”; but I didn’t use a period. Who I was, who I’ve been, what I’ve experienced led me to that day. I am now a married woman, co-parenting with my husband, and committed to never “do life alone” again.

I’m sure you are wondering … what has happened since your wedding day, the day after the semicolon? A lot. We, two strong, happy in our singleness, independent, used to doing things our own way, owning multiple houses, and living the dream people came together and created a home that neither one of us knew we ever wanted or needed. Me in my late 30s and Eric in his early 40s, we found ourselves navigating a new normal that — at least at first — we didn’t want to bend to. From silly things like where the bed should be located in our master suite to big things like how to manage our rentals, we’ve tackled a lot this year and did it together.

Early on in our relationship, even before the proposal or the wedding day, Eric and I committed to a few non-negotiables. The first was that we would not have sex before we got married. We both had a past and did not sit in judgement of each other regarding our relationship history. But what we both frankly and honestly confessed, was that we wanted a relationship that was built on a true deep love for each other and whose foundation would not be easily broken. We were often tempted and there were times when our passion almost won the best of us. But ultimately, we knew that what we wanted from and for each other was bigger than momentary physical excitement. We wanted the physical manifestation of God’s love for us in human form. Deep. I know. But this sacrifice that we made (and yes, it was a sacrifice), allowed us to create the foundation for a strong un-breakable bond. A bond that’s strengthened even more by our second non-negotiable, communication.

For the first 2.5 years of our relationship, we lived 3 hours apart. Ninety percent of our relationship was based on phone calls, text messages, and emails. We simply didn’t have another option. The best thing about that experience was that we quickly learned how to hear the unheard. Eric was and is pretty good at this. About a year into our relationship, I remember his response to me following one of our T.I.Fs. “times of intense fellowship” aka disagreements. He noticed that I was being very quiet and choosing my words very carefully. He was also introduced to the crier in me. I guess in that particular moment, in his mind, whatever we were disagreeing about did not warrant my “dramatic” response. At first he admonished me for my tears and lack of communication. I got quiet. We said our “I love yous” and “goodbyes” and ended the phone call. He called me back the next day and said, “I’m not going anywhere.” I just began to cry, sobbing into the phone. Later that morning, he showed up in PA just to spend the day with me. He knew I needed more than just a phone call, text message or an email. He knew that I needed reassured that his love was real, his commitment was true, and that nothing could break what God had given us.

You see, because I was so used to using periods, I was unknowingly preparing my heart for the end. We had a fight. It was over. We didn’t agree. How can we go on? He doesn’t understand me. This is not meant to be. Reading this, you may think that I was super silly and over-emotional. I’d argue that I just didn’t know what unconditional love looked like outside of my parents. I didn’t know the possibility of or the value in a semicolon or a comma. I just didn’t know.

One year later I am still learning and growing with my husband. I like that word. Husband. He is a pretty amazing man. A true God-fearing, God-loving, Holy Spirit filled, loving his wife like she is the best thang since sliced bread man. I am so grateful for him. I am grateful for the love that we share. I am grateful for the dreams that we have. I am grateful for the work that we do. I am grateful.

God bless you my friends. Be grateful for the semicolons. Life is full of twists and turns, but it keeps flowing. Use the semicolons. Keep flowing. Read Ephesians 3:14-21 and Isaiah 64:4.

Gina Watts is a former resident of Fayette County, now living in Columbus, Ohio. She serves multiple communities as an advocate, educator, and leader. Follow Gina on Twitter @professorgmarie.