Nov 13, 2018 4 min read

November brings to mind many thoughts. We remember our family members and friends who have served in our military. We think of family gatherings. We savor the memories that roasting turkey and pumpkin pies evoke. We just remember things that we have to be thankful for.

As I think about my life, I have found many things to be thankful for. While I do not live in a mansion, my house is safe and warm. Although I have no living parents, grandparents or aunts and uncles, I do have two siblings, a life partner and an extended circle of friends. I am by no means wealthy, but I don’t have bill collectors call me on the phone or sending me threatening letters. I don’t have the best health, but I am alive. And for these things, I am thankful.

I heard recently the story of a 14-year-old girl who committed suicide because she was being bullied. At 14 she should be dreaming of a fairy tale wedding, children, a career; basically she should be planning her entire life. Instead, she found herself bullied so badly that it made her end her existence. Bullying has been around forever.

Years ago, when I was a kid, bullying consisted of little more than being called names, teased for being different or of someone talking about you and saying bad things behind your back. But today, it is much more extensive. With the invention of social media the outreach that people have is almost immeasurable. What was once isolated to a small circle of people had become worldwide. Events that were eventually played down or forgotten have now gone viral and are constantly rekindled. There are people who feed on negative frenzy. What can be done to bring a solution to this problem?

Do only children bully? No. Adults bully people, too, but it isn’t called that. Adults harass people. They belittle coworkers. Bosses commit unconscious bias. Some go as far as actual physical contact despite others saying “No.” Why do adults do this? Perhaps they, as youngsters, were bullied and they see it as the norm. Perhaps their parents didn’t teach them. Perhaps they were corrupted by society.

How then, can we expect our children to behave?

For one thing, parents could teach their kids compassion and tolerance. Children need to learn that the color of someone’s skin or the shape of their body isn’t reason to bully others. The condition of their clothes or where they live doesn’t make them any less equal. If we would quit thinking we are better than others and realize we are not entitled to everything without earning it, then perhaps bullying would stop. Once people have compassion, they would reach out to others to ‘pump them up’ and not criticize them.

Maybe parents need to better to monitor their children’s social media accounts and cell phones. It just boggles my mind that adults are so busy that they don’t have time to care for their children. I understand that today both parents have to work, but they need to take time to instill a moral compass in their children. Teach them right from wrong. If they can’t learn something as simple as not criticizing and bullying each other, how will they ever learn that you shouldn’t pick up the gun and kill someone? If they don’t learn good from bad, how will they know not to pick up drugs? How will they learn the importance of good grades and a good education? It all starts at home. Children need to learn the difference between right and wrong, good and bad, safe and unsafe. I guess our teachers can help teach those lessons. Our ministers and Sunday school teachers can help teach moral lessons. Ultimately, however, it lies in the hands of the parents.

I remember seeing a story on Facebook about two very young best friends. They both decided to play a joke on their teacher by getting the same haircut so the teacher couldn’t tell them apart. In their eyes, they were the same. What they didn’t see and what made no difference to them was that one was white and the other was African American. They were innocent children not yet subjected to the evils of the world. We need to regain such innocence and treat each other as equals. Bullying has to stop!

Kathy Bartolotta

Tower Hill Two