Oct 28, 2021 4 min read

Some days the world’s problems feel so big that we fixate on surviving them instead of solving them. No judgment. We’ve all been there.

But the next time we’re tempted to passively ride out one of society’s many injustices, we hope we think of Montgomery County mom Jennifer Diffley, who proved the old adage that one person truly can make a difference.

It’s fitting that we highlight Diffley’s story as we reach the center of National Bullying Prevention Month. That’s where it begins.

In late September, Diffley authored a courageous and impassioned, 1,200-word Facebook post pleading for an end to what she characterized as persistent bullying of the North Penn High School marching band — the North Penn Marching Knights — at and near the bleachers before, during and after football games.

Diffley’s claims of students being booed, heckled, targeted by flying objects, shoved, spit on and otherwise mistreated may have related, specifically, to what happened at an Aug. 25 pep rally and a Sept. 22 home game, but her words clearly struck a chord with young people and their parents everywhere.

Every case of bullying is different, but the fact that her Facebook post was shared more than 1,100 times demonstrates that its applicability extends far beyond a single community in Montgomery County.

Suicide is the second-leading cause of death among young people. In fact, 19% of high schoolers seriously considered suicide in 2019, according to a 2020 CDC survey, with half of all mental health cases starting at around age 14.

There are various reasons for this, but we’d suggest that bullying behavior, whether it’s in person or online, can erode victims’ self-esteem and sense of belonging so profoundly that their lives begin to feel unbearable.

In her Facebook post, Diffley points out that marching band “embraces all of the kids that the world is crying out to be embraced — those marginalized communities as well as those neurodiverse, differently abled and typical kids. All in one group, all supporting each other, all holding each other accountable emotionally and physically.”

They put in countless hours learning their parts and rehearsing their shows so they can share their talents in a way that promotes school spirit and contributes to the fun and the excitement of game day. High school football games ought to bring a school community together, not be a place where a segment of that community is targeted for ridicule.

Diffley closes by entreating parents to “talk to your kids that are going to the game. If you can’t convince them to be kind, convince them to not be cruel. This is where those ‘stander uppers’ they’ve learned about in all of those Olweus anti-bullying lessons come into play.” (Dan Olweus was a Swedish-Norwegian psychologist and bullying research pioneer. His Olweus Bullying Prevention Program is probably the topic’s gold standard.)

At the risk of oversimplifying the reasons young people engage in bullying behavior, which can include stress, trauma, low self-esteem, trouble in the home and insecurity about their own sense of belonging, we believe Diffley’s “convince-them-not-to-be-cruel” advice ought to be followed by every parent in every state of every country on Earth.

Hopefully it makes as much difference as her Facebook post did when officials at North Penn School District saw it.

In the wake of Diffley’s post — and other reports from the Sept. 22 game — Superintendent Curtis R. Dietrich emailed parents a statement that assured them the district won’t tolerate bullying at its schools, fields or stadium, and informed them that the district reviewed hours of surveillance camera footage that resulted in four students being barred from attending events at the stadium for the rest of the year. Other disciplinary measures were taken against additional students who were identified.

The marching band has since been “overwhelmed” by messages of support — and loud cheers — from students at North Penn and from kids in music programs at neighboring high schools, who sent notes and small gifts. The district is also making small but appreciated changes in the stadium to give the band a better experience at games.

All because Diffley and others had the fortitude to follow a simple piece of advice: “If you see something, say something”.

In addition to striking a needed blow against bullying at North Penn and beyond, they’ve also shown us what can happen if we focus on solving problems instead of surviving them. We can all take something from that.

– York Daily Record