Apr 30, 2006 By Commentary John Mehno 3 min read

PITTSBURGH – This is what the Pirates have done to their fans: They’ve made them embarrassed to admit they like baseball. A neighbor sees someone piling in the car and asks where they’re going. If they say they’re going to the Pirates game, they feel compelled to offer a disclaimer:

“Ah, you know, the kids wanted to go.”

Or, a shrug and, “Someone at work had some free tickets.”

You don’t admit you actually want to go for fear of being ridiculed.

Think about that: People brag about having access to Steelers tickets. They make excuses for holding Pirates tickets.

That’s why the mission of the Pirates is so simple.

Just put a team on the field that doesn’t make people ashamed to be a fan.

It hasn’t happened yet this season.

– n –

If the Pirates announcers seem to be extra chipper about a team which has had a winning percentage below .300, there’s a reason.

Word is some paranoid front office type had a preseason heart-to-wallet talk with the five announcers – whose contracts are all due to expire – about maintaining a positive outlook even in the face of horrible performance.

That’s why you’re getting the heaping shovels full of nonsense about what a great group of young men comprise this year’s team.

There are some nice guys on the team, but people are more interested in winning baseball than merit badges for citizenship.

So the Pirates are not only giving their customers a bad product, they’re trying to mislead them.

Unfortunately for them, newspapers keep printing the standings.

– n –

Would someone please tell Pittsburgh Penguins CEO Ken Sawyer that Pennsylvania didn’t legalize slots specifically for his benefit?

For a guy who didn’t come to town until September of 1999, he has an advanced sense of entitlement.

– n –

It’s nice that Pittsburgh Mayor Bob O’Connor is cleaning up the city in advance of the July 11 All-Star game.

Does this mean the usual level of neglect would be in place if the All-Star game hadn’t landed here?

– n –

Fun stat of the week comes from last year’s All-Star game home run contest.

Philadelphia’s Bobby Abreu set a record by hitting 41 over the fence, including 24 in the first round.

Jason Bay of the Pirates had to follow that act and didn’t hit a single home run.

When the season resumed and the hitters again faced real pitching, Abreu managed six home runs in 265 at-bats after the All-Star break.

Bay hit 16 homers in 271 at-bats after the break.

– n –

As long as the mayor is committed to sprucing up the city this summer, here’s a modest suggestion:

Put shiny “We Will” buttons on all those guys who are sacked out in the doorways of downtown buildings.