March Madness on the home front
Twas the night before Madness, and my darling Chrissy was fit to be tied, “The dishes are piling up,” she grumbled, “and all you can talk about is this jive!”
This “jive” was my NCAA bracket, my favorite contest around,
Where Huskies, Great Danes and Salukis, all vie for a national crown.
I said, “Chill out. Relax. I don’t need any of this strife.”
But my spouse just rolled her eyes, and told me to go get a life;
She doesn’t quite get it, she thinks I’m a fool,
She doesn’t know Pitt from Shinola, or care the least bit about my office pool.
Speaking of the Panthers, I said, “I think they have a chance,
“To make it as far as the semifinals, of this 64-team dance.”
“What about the ‘Eers?, Chrissy piped up, “from nearby WVU?”
“They’ll be lucky to win one game,” I replied, “but certainly not two.”
I then said whoever put Tennessee at No. 2 was clearly a dunce,
The Pirates of Seton Hall will make sure the Vols taste victory just once;
“Want some more upsets?” I offered, “Then take San Diego State and Texas A&M,
“They’ll knock off Cinderella Syracuse and Indiana of the Big Ten.”
Chrissy threw me another question, “What about the Tigers of LSU?”
“Well, “I said, “They’re going to win two games before Duke leaves them blue.
“The Blue Devils and guard J.J. Redick look primed for a run,
“And a Final Four showdown with Gonzaga and Adam Morrison surely will be fun.”
“By the way,” Chrissy asked suddenly, “What’s a Saluki?”
I couldn’t resist the urge to answer, “It’s a pork-stuffed Halupki.”
She knew I was cracking wise, so she gave me a stare;
I told her I was sorry, I really didn’t think she’d care.
“Back to this bracket,” I said, “I still have blank spaces to fill,”
All the while thinking inside, is No. 2 Ohio State for real?
On paper the Buckeyes and Terrance Dials seem sound,
But I think Georgetown will knock them out of the tourney, and in just the second round.
Big East heavies Villanova and Connecticut have both grabbed top seeds,
And both will cut down their first two opponents, like a high-powered Toro mowing through weeds;
UConn will keep rolling, all the way to the Final Four,
But the Wildcats will exit when Boston College shows them the door.
I’ve finally narrowed it down to eight teams, the ones they call Elite,
First off, thanks to Connecticut, North Carolina won’t repeat;
Duke’s Blue Devils will top Texas, and Gonzaga will tell Pitt “See ya later”,
Surviving the last semifinal will be a B.C. Eagle, not a Florida Gator.
After a couple more hours of research, I trimmed it down to four,
Teams, that is, who will try to settle the national championship, on a speedy Indianapolis floor;
Morrison will outscore Redick, but Duke will move on,
To face, no, not Boston College, but the Huskies from UConn.
“OK, big shot, who’s going to win it all,” asked the wife?
“Gimme a minute,” I said, and then thought, “Now who needs the life?”
Will it be Connecticut or Duke that claims the top spot,
I’m banking on the Huskies, on the Blue Devils I’m not.
“So there you have it,” I said to Chrissy, “I can turn my bracket in.”
She then gave me a big hug and told me she hopes that WE win;
As I walked out of the kitchen, Chrissy said, “So that’s what March Madness is all about?”
Then she asked one last favor, “Can you please take the garbage out?”
Comments can be sent to Dave Stofcheck at dstofcheck@heraldstandard.com