What we ‘learned’ during the 84 Lumber Classic’s 4-year run
FARMINGTON – Cloudy skies deferred to rays of sunshine Sunday for the final round of the 84 Lumber Classic. Fitting?
You better believe it.
The tournament rode off into the sunset, drawing to a close when Ben Curtis sank his final putt on Mystic Rock’s 18th green.
So, as Fat Bird readies to spread his wings, it’s time to take a look back at the past four years and reflect on what we’ve learned.
We now know:
– That Joseph A. Hardy III, who’s really just a regular Joe, albeit one worth a gazillion dollars, likes to bite his cigars rather than smoke them.
– That the tournament served the best cotton-pickin’, finger-lickin’ media lunch around.
– That, over the past four years, lions, bears and even zebras could be spotted chillin’ out at Mystic Rock. But no Tigers.
– That Michelle Wie can’t give men a run for their money.
– That Hardy was, without a doubt, the best quote of this four-year tournament.
– That Jason Gore, winner of the 2005 84 Lumber Classic, really is a big, likeable lug.
– That millions, and millions, and millions, and millions of dollars have been spent dressing up Mystic Rock, but exactly how much no one’s willing to say.
– That, even on a Sunday when the final putt of the final round could determine the tournament’s winner, everybody in the gallery was still wandering, ‘What’s the score of the Steelers game?
– That Brian Anderson, golf course superintendent at Nemacolin Woodlands Resort & Spa, and his staff are worth every penny they’re paid. Through nearly every condition, even the aftereffects of a hurricane, Mystic Rock stood up well the past four years. Hey Joe, give these guys a raise!
– That John Daly plays better the more sex he has. Thanks for sharing John.
– That when PGA Tour players are allowed to lift, clean and place their ball, scores will go low. These guys are good.
– That sponsor’s exemptions, unless their last name is Wie, do have a chance of winning. Gore capped a Cinderella season a year ago when he picked up his first Tour victory at the 84 Lumber Classic.
– That Ben Curtis loves the Cleveland Browns, but is willing to wear Steelers garb because Reebok pays him a couple bucks to don the home team’s NFL gear. Sell out.
– That there’s more to the story than what’s been told why this will be the last 84 Lumber Classic. Check back later for details.
– That Daly, even though he has probably played Mystic Rock more than any Tour golfer, tanked three times in four years and missed the cut.
– That we still aren’t sure whether Fat Bird is male or female.
– That the Black Eyed Peas created more of a traffic jam than golf ever did.
– That $828,000 buys a lot of diapers.
OK, we don’t know everything. But we sure did learn a lot in the last four years.
Dave Stofcheck can be reached at dstofcheck@heraldstandard.com