May 24, 2002 4 min read

The official start to summer kicks off this weekend so it’s time to pull the weeds cluttering my mind. Here’s a sampling from the pile heap of thoughts that were probably better left un-pondered.

– I know I’m not the only woman who is now forced to confront the ravages of winter by slipping into shorts and a sleeveless top. It isn’t a pretty sight. Taking stock in a dressing room mirror I discovered that I suffer from jigglely arms, drooping knees and a top that rests upon the middle. Is this what gravity is all about? I had heard about this arm thing coming with age, but I sure didn’t expect my thighs to migrate toward my shins and do this little fold over number that is suffocating my knees. I’m starting to look like the old neighborhood women staring out of one of my parents’ wedding photos. No sign of hairy warts, yet, but a huge pimple just popped out on my chin line. Perhaps the stores carry summer-weight sweatshirts and jogging pants.

nThe season of portable potties has arrived. After many rain delays, youth baseball and softball games are reclaiming the fields. This can only mean one thing for my carload. As soon as we arrive the littlest fan announces to all in attendance that she’s got to go. Just to make sure I understand the urgency, hopping up and down dances illustrate the need. Why is it, I wonder, that those portable potties are placed so far away and that by the time you get there, any kid with the slightest sense of hygiene refuses to enter, which necessitates a trip to the car and to the nearest gas station that isn’t much better. Side trips aside, this doesn’t mean you’re going to miss much of the game as one can generally figure on an hour an inning.

– This is my third daughter’s third year on the softball team. I’ve noticed that the concession stands at most of the fields have improved since the second daughter played ball. Our home field offerings are rather limited, and some places do little more than offer candy and pop from a card table. Our team’s fans all agree that Keystone has the best stand going. We were looking forward to our match-up this year. So far it’s been rained out twice. Game or no game, I might just drive there for dinner some evening.

– No matter how many years I’ve unfolded a lawn chair or sat on a rickety bleacher, the sport of spectating hasn’t changed. There’s always going to be some belligerent parent who forgets that these are little kids who are learning to play a sport and not million dollar players battling in the seventh game of the World Series. The other night, for example, I watched two men, one of whom clutched a beer can as if to prove his manliness, nearly get into fisticuffs over whether a girl should have thrown the ball or chased down the runner. The discussion ended with the parting remark of something along the lines of “I guess you know so much from your days at Williamsport.” I’m just pleased that so many people know so much and never fail to share their knowledge and their vocabulary with children.

– Since this is Memorial Day weekend, state and local police will be out in full force, cracking down on speeders and drunken drivers. I don’t have a problem with this as there are far too many bad, aggressive drivers on the road. What I do have a problem with are speeding police cars. Rarely do you encounter a marked car on the road that isn’t tailgating, speeding, passing on the right or violating the vehicle code in some manner. Which is OK if they activated the lights and sirens and are responding to an emergency. This isn’t fine when they are simply cruising. This isn’t the kind of example police officers should be setting for impressionable kids. I’m thinking cruisers ought to have signs similar to semi trucks that ask, “How’s my driving” and then give an 1-800 number to call.

– This is also the great get-the-yard in shape weekend. I’ve already made plans to avoid this by working Saturday. One day, I figure, won’t make much of a difference. It’s going to take an entire season for my neglected lawn to coax out a little curb appeal. I might actually work up some desire to tackle it this year as someone suggested that pulling real weeds will help firm the arm thing.

Luanne Traud is the Herald-Standard’s editorial page editor. E-mail: ltraud@heraldstandard.com.