Dec 5, 2003 3 min read

I’d like to think of myself as rather a simple person who is content with what I have. Sure, I’d like to think that but of course it isn’t true, no matter how much I attempt to convince myself. Take Santa, for example. Not just any Santa but the one in my front yard. Five years ago my father, suffering from an infusion of holiday spirit, bought a pattern and some plywood and cut out all these Santas. One of my nephews, who was 11 at the time, puzzled over his grandfather’s handiwork. Finally he blurted out, “Are you cloning Santa Claus?”

You see, my father didn’t want just one Santa for his own yard. He had to have two. One to wave at passersby, the other to climb onto the roof and cling to the chimney.

In his frenzy, he made one for me. As I carried it last weekend from the basement, blew off the dust and then hammered it into the ground, I wondered why I don’t have a sleigh.

During the Santa-making year, the creator confessed that he had run out of steam, his elf mate was tuckered out and that I should just wait until next year. I’ve waited five years and still no sleigh.

So off I went with Daughters 3 and 4 in tow to the big box stores to check out sleighs. It was overwhelming. We could have spent as little as $39.99 or as much as $339.99 on the sleigh of our dreams. And I almost grabbed something in the mid-price range, something that would appear neither puny next to our Santa nor dwarf him from his commanding hillside view.

But then I turned to No. 3 and said, “What do you think? These on display are rather nice, but look, they all come in slim boxes. Do you think that means we will have to assemble it?”

She looked for a minute, wondered about buying display models (too early in the season) and whether I had charged up the electric screwdriver (one of our few tools).

“I don’t think you can put that together with duct tape,” she said.

Oh, I could assemble a sleigh. I’ve assembled far greater projects. I’ve deciphered directions given in 15 different languages. I certainly could do it. I just didn’t want to. I’m perplexed that it is difficult to purchase anything these days – including groceries – that doesn’t need assembled or programmed.

But I still want a sleigh. So I asked my father when he was going to get around to making sleighs.

Not this year. Probably never. Why do I want a sleigh, he asked.

Because, is my childish reply.

But then once I have a sleigh, wouldn’t I then want some reindeer? Well, of course. And one or two reindeer wouldn’t do. I’d need eight plus Rudolph.

And if I had a Santa, sleigh and eight tiny reindeer wouldn’t they need a workshop, stable, and presents, lots of presents. I can vision a miniature North Pole and all the trimmings moving onto the front lawn.

It would be a never-ending endeavor that would never be complete. I’d want more.

So for now, it’s best that Santa remain a loner, standing in the frigid cold, waving to those who pass by. He mustn’t mind, as he’s grinning from ear to ear.

Luanne Traud is the Herald-Standard’s editorial page editor. E-mail: ltraud@heraldstandard.com.