If heartache exists so must heart joy
As I write this, President Bush is activating even more troops for the inevitable showdown with Saddam Hussein. Kuwait is hosting the largest buildup of American forces since Bush’s daddy waged his Gulf War. North Korea is refusing to back away from its nuclear bomb building. A car bomb exploded in Columbia, killing four. A plane crashed in Turkey, killing 75 people. And another plane is missing in Peru with 42 passengers and four crew.
Families are grieving over a plane crash in North Carolina. A New Jersey go-go dancer was arrested for beating and starving three children, one of whom was found dead on Sunday. A Butler woman pleaded guilty to killing her 3-year-old niece by banging her head on the floor because the child had wet the bed.
Closer to home the local coroner is planning an inquest into the police shooting of a 12-year-old boy while a jury found Herbert C. Herrington guilty of third-degree murder in the senseless stabbing death of Charles E. Cramer.
There is far too much heartache. Such awful things keep happening, burdening our lives with pain.
Where, I keep wondering, is the heart joy? Is it as elusive and fleeting as the sun’s warmth on a mid-January day?
Heart joy can’t be planned. It can’t be anticipated and those who expect to find it on big days such as holidays or birthdays or weddings or prom nights are bound to be disappointed. This time of year is always a let down for so many people who are now saddled with extra debt from overspending, extra pounds from overindulging and extra sadness upon recognizing that another year has passed without correcting perceived deficiencies or achieving the unobtainable goals.
But it is also a time of potential. Perhaps that is why so many once again make resolutions to change. Not me, and not this year.
I’m resolving to expect little of myself. I’m resolving to find heart joy.
This might be as unrealistic as ridding myself of credit card debt or shedding 10 pounds, but I suspect that I won’t be disappointed even if I fail because I plan to have a great time chasing it down.
I’m going to turn my face to the sun and soak up its rays when offered during these winter months. I’m going to linger over a good meal, a good conversation. I’m going to relax first, do housework second. I’m going to be flexible regardless of the tight schedule that seems to control my life.
I’m going to make a list of places, within a short driving distance, that I’ve never been and keep saying that I will go and just do it. This includes a trip to Pechin’s. I once made it as far as the parking lot and couldn’t bring myself to go inside. But this year is different, I’m not going to be chicken any longer.
I’m going to be brave. I’m going to ride a horse, go on a date, get my first pedicure, take the T-tops off my car, try green ketchup and blue french fries, get a massage and sing in public. I might or might not enjoy any of these things, but I’m going to experience them simply because I haven’t and I can.
I’m going to remember the sheer fun of laughter and do it more. Strangers might think me giddy but I won’t care.
None of this will lessen heartache. It won’t stop international, national, local or even personal tragedies. Nothing keeps those at bay. But neither does a slim waist and a balanced checkbook.
Just as surely as heartache exists so must heart joy, if only we take the time to recognize and revel in it.
Luanne Traud is the Herald-Standard’s editorial page editor. E-mail: ltraud@heraldstandard.com.