Ask Coach Jes
Editor’s Note: Jes Hutson, a Fayette County coach and counselor to young people in high school and college basketball, tennis and cross country for almost 20 years, is available to answer questions from area youth on a variety of topics. He is a faculty member at Penn State Fayette Campus. His e-mail address is: askthecoach2003@yahoo.com. —-
Dear Coach:
My grandson is a sixth grader that cares more about football than about academics. “George” seems to live for football, and he will lie often about having done his homework. As George gets ready to attend junior high, I am questioning whether I should let him play because of his lies and because his academics suffered this year. I am a grandmother serving as a father and a mother. What do you think?
Signed – Concerned Grandmother
Dear Concerned Grandmother:
First, you really scared me when you called me at home. No it wasn’t the call; it was because you agreed with all of my answers in the last column.
Even though we talked at length, I believe there may be other parents/guardians among our readers that may find themselves in this same predicament.
When “Joe” puts sports before academics, there is definitely a problem that needs immediate attention. Try to sit down with George (over ice cream) in an unthreatening manner and try to get him to open up about things. Many times there is an underlying problem(s) that comes into play. Although it may difficult, try to get George to do most of the talking. Encourage him to express himself. Tell him that this conversation is strictly an informational discussion so that the “two” of you can come up with a solid game plan for a positive solution. Try to be supportive as possible, but the coach also suggests that you spell out the possible consequences if George falls behind in his schoolwork or lies to you. Make sure he understands that he will be help accountable for his actions or lack thereof.
Tell George that you would be happy to sit down with him nightly to review all homework and the events of his day. Tell him that you are going to stay in close contact with his teachers to monitor his academic progress until he proves that he is intrinsically motivated enough to get the job done. Attend open houses and parent-teacher conferences. If necessary, make an appointment(s) to visit with George’s teachers. Having said all of this, make sure that you have communicated that if all else fails, that you may simply have to pull the plug on something he loves dearly. No doubt this will be hurtful, but George (all kids) must learn early in life that sports come in below academics on the ladder of life. Of course, the coach believes it’s best when they can go hand in hand to compliment each other.
In closing, I believe you are doing a wonderful job as a mother, father, mentor and friend. Keep up the good work, and don’t be too hard on yourself. There is some luck involved regarding the maturity of all children/people. And, as discussed, I would be happy to have a big brother talk with George if you feel that would help. Please keep in touch.
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Dear Coach:
My son, “George,” is in fifth grade, and I would like to start getting him involved in some sort of community service. Please offer some suggestions. Thank you, coach. Signed – A Local Parent
Dear Local Parent:
It gives the coach great pleasure to answer your question. Community service is a wonderful offering that is very necessary in our local communities. Without a core of volunteers, I believe that some of our service organizations may have a difficult time surviving. From eight to 80, there’s always something we can do to make our local communities a better place in which to live.
As a fifth grader, George is probably going to need your assistance for most things. He could volunteer to read to the elderly, take out the garbage and perhaps even clean a little for “trusted” senior citizens and handicapped people in your immediate neighborhood. Respectfully, it is probably a good idea to go with George until you are satisfied that he is okay by himself. Having said that, the coach cautions that in today’s world, one can never be too overprotective or cautious.
A more aggressive idea would be to have George start a food drive collecting canned goods at his school. The Fayette County Community Action Agency Food Bank is a wonderful organization that could benefit greatly from this type of community service. Our local Food Bank serves close to 50 mini-Food Banks, which serves tens of thousands (duplicates) each year. Good times to have food drives include (any time) Easter, Thanksgiving and the holiday season. Have George become a “team leader” and approach his homeroom teacher and/or principal at his school. Be sure to offer him help in this regard. Challenge other grades, homerooms or other schools to see who can collect the most canned goods.
If you have an hour or so each week this summer, perhaps another good idea would be to contact Meals on Wheels, also associated with the FCCAA. You could drive, and George could deliver. George will get a wonderful response from those with whom he comes in contact, and he will also learn more about social interaction with others, etc. Also, along with offering a much-needed service, you will also have an opportunity to further bond with your son. Be sure to get some ice cream after the run if time permits.
As George gets older, more opportunities will become available through school, church and social organizations. Please contact the FCCAA at 724-437-8180 for the Meals on Wheels or Food Bank Programs.
Coach’s Note: Everyone is encouraged to give freely of his/her time and energy regarding community service. The rewards can be great for others, as well as for you. Go with me on this.
Coach’s Note to All High School Students: ‘ Tis the season for graduation parties, etc. The coach urges everyone to simply say “NO” to alcohol and drugs. Be mature enough to walk away.
Also, never get in car when the driver is under any influence. Parents, please have a heart to heart talk with your children. Tell them to call you at any time for help, no questions asked.
Congratulations, and good luck to all graduates!