Feb 11, 2005 4 min read

Maybe she thinks I know something about single men, or available men, or any men for that matter. But Linda O’Keefe (wife of my boss, editor Mark O’Keefe) was on the phone seeking some advance publicity for a Bachelor Auction that she is planning to benefit both the Crime Victims Center (where she is employed) and the Herald-Standard’s Relay for Life team that raises funds for the American Cancer Society. Regular readers might recall that Mr. O’Keefe who coaches our Relay for Life softball team has year-after-year cut me from the roster. He is apparently under the correct impression that I hit and run like a girl.

Mrs. O’Keefe now sees the advantage in that. She must be under the mistaken impression that since I look like and act like a girl, it stands to follow that I would know some men. Single ones. Ones who would want to auction themselves off for a good cause. Age is not a factor. She’ll take men between 23 and 55.

As if I would share. That was my first thought. Then I had a second thought. If the boss’s wife wants men, I will do my best to help her find some. Heck, I might even volunteer to pre-screen the bachelors so that we can vouch that they are fun dates. I might need to temporarily suspend the editorial board and establish a bachelor board. Anything for charity, right?

Linda O’Keefe is fine with all that. I’m not sure though that she heard much of what I said; she was too busy singing that song from the ’80s, “It’s Raining Men.”

Hallelujah. How many and how soon? It’s been mighty dry around here.

Right now, O’Keefe reports it’s drizzling men. She would prefer a downpour. Wouldn’t we all? Since the idea was launched a couple weeks ago, O’Keefe said that 20 men have agreed to come up with a date and then go on the auction block sometime in June. But men being what they are as far as commitments go, O’Keefe would prefer to have a few more in the lineup.

They will need to make a pledge to deliver on the promised date package. They can either foot the bill themselves or ask businesses, such as finer restaurants, to sponsor the date in exchange for some publicity. That’s about it, until auction night, which will either be June 10 or 17 at the Holiday Inn. The evening will start with an hour or so of mingling over cocktails and then the bidding will begin.

Since this is the first year, she isn’t sure how much money will be raised or how much it will cost to successfully win a date. Each package will start at $50.

She said Washington County hosted a similar auction for many years, and that judging from their affair, dates usually went for a couple hundred dollars.

That might seem high to the single gal who’s not used to paying for a date. That’s OK, O’Keefe said. This auction isn’t just for single women. They need to bring their married friends along so that the married friends can pitch in more money if the bidding takes off. If your friends aren’t likely to pay for your pleasures, O’Keefe said not to worry. One bachelor will volunteer to be the cheap date. Instead of an auction, he will be raffled off through the sale of $10 chances.

Tickets to the auction will be limited to 250 people and will cost $20 in advance, and $25 at the door if any should remain. Anyone seeking more information about the event can call O’Keefe at 438-1470.

In the meantime, once information is gathered from the bachelors, a link to their pictures and their date packages will be posted on our Web site: www.heraldstandard.com

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O’Keefe, still humming her new favorite song, paused before she hung up. “Just make it sound fun.”

No doubt it will be.

Luanne Traud is the Herald-Standard’s editorial page editor. E-mail her at ltraud@heraldstandard.com.