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Critic finds humor in ‘The Island’

By Lou Gaul Calkins Media Film Critic 4 min read

Just mention the name of director Michael Bay, and some normally meek and mild movie critics consider becoming more violent than a Steven Seagal action hero. During a recent conversation, an Internet film writer told me, “I was so mad after sitting through ‘Bad Boys II’ that if Michael Bay had been in the lobby of the theater, I would have punched him in the mouth.”

Ouch.

And why does Bay, who enjoys pulling the strings of critics, elicit such extreme reactions? The filmmaker, whose credits include “Armageddon,” “The Rock,” “Pearl Harbor,” “Bad Boys” and its sequel, just fills the screen with non-stop explosions, car crashes and chase scenes and cares nothing about developing characters, plots or ideas, making his movies seem more like amusement rides than motion pictures.

Bay brings out the worst in critics, which is understandable, though I find the key to enjoying his films on a certain level is to treat them as outrageous comedies. That’s particularly true in the case of Bay’s newest creation, “The Island,” a $122 million chase picture that’s set in 2019 and has a couple of attractive clones (played by Ewan McGregor of the new “Star Wars” trilogy and Scarlett Johansson of “Lost in Translation”) running for their lives.

Along the way, they create more damage than Hurricane Dennis.

The PG-13 picture’s plot, which could fit on the bottom of a 12-ounce coffee cup, concerns wealthy people from around the globe who figure they can add 60 to 70 years to their lives by having a company raise clones that can be used to harvest organs whenever necessary. The duplicates – including Lincoln Six-Echo (McGregor) and Jordan Two-Delta (Johansson) – are raised at a spotless remote facility where they and many others have their thoughts controlled and are promised that they will one day be allowed to move to a paradise known as The Island.

They are constantly monitored during the waiting period to leave, but both Lincoln and Jordan begin having thoughts that they don’t understand and later learn can be attributed to those in the outside world who paid to have a duplicate body just a phone call away.

“The Island” briefly raises some issues about the ethical aspects of cloning, but the plot is really nothing more than a springboard for Lincoln and Jordan, who were cloned from a daredevil racer and a beautiful model, respectively, to escape from the facility. The two learn about hugging and kissing while on the run, then use their wits to find their flesh-and-blood counterparts and hope that their lives will be spared.

Bay attracted a strong supporting cast, including Djimon Hounsou (“Gladiator”) as a security expert who feels conflicted about his work, Steve Buscemi (“Fargo”) as a maintenance engineer who helps those he’s paid to imprison and Sean Bean (“Patriot Games”) as a callous executive who paid $120 billion to build a facility that allows him to peddle flesh for profit.

But the chases are the real stars of “The Island,” and most of them are silly fun. Bay, however, seems to have been in a rush, since one extended highway sequence looks like it contains leftover footage from the smashing interstate race in “Bad Boys II.”

Whether viewers will feel like punching Michael Bay in the face or slapping him on the back after “The Island” will depend totally on their expectations. Those seeking anything more than a popcorn picture shallower than a thimble full of melted butter may at least want to give Bay a swift kick in the pants.

FILM REVIEW

“The Island”

Grade: B for hard-core Michael Bay fans; C- for anyone else

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Djimon Hounsou, Sean Bean and Steve Buscemi; written by Caspian Tredwell-Owen, Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci; produced by Walter F. Parkes, Michael Bay and Ian Bryce; directed by Michael Bay.

Running Time: 134 minutes.

Parental Guide: PG-13 rating (over-the-top violence, sexual elements, harsh four-letter profanity).

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