Sep 15, 2006 By Lou Gaul Calkins Media Film Critic 5 min read

A noir thriller (“The Black Dahlia”), a teen tale (“Gridiron Gang”), an animated picture (“Everyone’s Hero”), a comedy drama (“The Last Kiss”) and an insightful documentary (“This Film Is Not Yet Rated”) are landing in theaters on this third weekend of September. For complete descriptions, critical evaluations of previewed films and explanations of the Motion Picture Association of America ratings in terms of violence, language and sexual content, please refer to the Movie Capsules.

The new films (with all dates subject to change) opening at a theater near you include:

? “Artie Lange’s Beer League,” with the sidekick from “The Howard Stern Show” combining his love of playing baseball and drinking booze into a gross R-rated comedy that he co-wrote and stars in. Ralph Macchio (“The Karate Kid”) and Laurie Metcalf (“TV’s “Roseanne”) co-star.

? “The Black Dahlia,” with Scarlett Johansson (“Scoop”), Josh Hartnett (“Sin City”), Aaron Eckhart (“Thank You For Smoking”) and Hilary Swank (“Million Dollar Baby”) in director Brian De Palma’s noir thriller based on a real-life 1947 murder of a starlet who was romantically involved with two police officers. The R-rated picture is based on the book by James Ellroy.

? “The Bridesmaid,” with Benoit Magimel (“Hate”) in writer-director Claude Chabrol’s romantic thriller about a young guy who falls for a member of his sister’s wedding party. After the two become physically involved, he discovers that an air of mystery surrounds the mentally troubled woman. The unrated import is being presented in French with subtitles.

? “Everyone’s Hero,” the voices of Whoopi Goldberg (“Ghost”), William H. Macy (“Fargo”) and Forest Whitaker (“The Crying Game”) in a computer-animated, Depression era tale about two young baseball fans who must overcome numerous obstacles to keep their pledge to return a stolen bat to Yankee slugger Babe Ruth before the deciding game of the 1932 World Series. The late Christopher Reeve, who fell in love with the family story when he heard it, was originally set to direct the G-rated picture and served as the executive producer responsible for convincing a studio to fund it.

? “Gridiron Gang,” with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (“Walking Tall”) in a fact-based teen melodrama, rated PG-13, about a detention-camp probation officer trying to convince juvenile felons to use their energy and learn to work together by forming a football squad and challenging high-school teams.

? “The Last Kiss,” with Zach Braff (“Garden State”), Jacinda Barrett (“Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason”), Casey Affleck (“Ocean’s Eleven”) and Blythe Danner (Showtime’s “Huff”) in an R-rated comedy drama about a guy coming to terms with life, love, marriage and infidelity just as he’s about to turn 30.

? “This Film Is Not Yet Rated,” with Kirby Dick directing an insightful unrated documentary about the hidden members of the Motion Picture Association of America’s ratings board, the clandestine group responsible for bestowing ratings of G, PG, PG-13, R and NC-17 on motion pictures. It’s a fascinating look at a censorship process that’s funded by the major studios, which are treated much more leniently than independent studios that tackle more adult subjects and often find themselves looking at the highly restrictive NC-17 rating unless the filmmakers involved make cuts to soften the material.

Celebrating ‘Pedro’

With the series “Viva Pedro,” which begins Sept. 15, Sony Pictures Classics will release eight works by gifted 57-year-old Spanish director Pedro Almodovar.

The titles in the series are: “Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown” (1988), “All About My Mother” (1999), “Talk to Her” (2002), “The Flower of My Secret” (1996), “Live Flesh” (1997), “Law of Desire” (1987), “Matador” (1986) and “Bad Education” (2004).

For dates, show times and other information, go to ritzfilmbill.com.

Filmmaker screening ‘Trauma’

Doylestown filmmaker Lance Weiler will introduce and discuss his new work, “Head Trauma,” at the County Theater, 20 E. State St. in Doylestown, Pa., on Sept. 19 at 7 p.m. and at the Bryn Mawr Film Institute, 824 W. Lancaster Ave. in Bryn Mawr, Pa., on Sept. 20 at 7 p.m.

With “Head Trauma,” Weiler, who wrote and directed the independent favorite “The Last Broadcast,” created a psychological thriller about a drifter who returns to his grandmother’s abandoned house and is then plagued by terrifying nightmares.

For more on the movie, go to headtraumamovie.com. For screening information, go to CountyTheater.org or BrynMawrFilm.org.

At the buck$ office

Teens with supernatural powers cast a spell over young audiences last weekend as “The Covenant” grossed $9 million and took the No. 1 spot at the box office.

The adult fact-based tale “Hollywoodland” took the second spot with $6 million, while the football favorite “Invincible,” starring Mark Wahlberg as Eagle player Vince Papale, landed in the No. 3 spot with more than $5 million.

According to the Associated Press, the top-10 movies last weekend were:

1. “The Covenant” ($9 million)

2. “Hollywoodland” ($6 million)

3. “Invincible” ($5.8 million)

4. “The Protector” ($5 million)

5. “Crank” ($4.8 million)

6. “The Illusionist” ($4.6 million)

7. “Little Miss Sunshine” ($4.4 million)

8. “The Wicker Man” ($4.1 million)

9. “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby” ($3 million)

10. “Barnyard” ($2.6 million)

Coming soon!

The major titles scheduled to open Sept. 22 include: “All the Kings Men” (with Sean Penn in a political drama) and “Jackass Number Two” (with Johnny Knoxville and his cohorts participating in more painful pranks).