H.I.T.S.
It’s been an interesting and entertaining week. Not only did Doren and I recently film another H.I.T.S. show, we also underwent a change of format and talked about and showed some of our favorite Web sites. During the course of deciding which sites to have on the show, Doren forwarded me the link to a Web site about British slang at http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml
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It was amusing to recall some of the many phrases I’d learned growing up there.
As I’ve detailed before, the British sense of humor tends to have a darker, more absurd Monty-Pythonesque flavor to it.
This is probably why the Monty Python Show has lasted so long, because many of the skits parodied actual British life and reality is funnier than fiction.
By the way, there is a Python Web site online and you can visit it at http://pythonline.com/
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During the course of the week, my innate British sense of humor kicked in after finding yet another old acquaintance from Blackburn in the UK, where I used to live. By chance, I found a link to a Web site that showed a weekly fish market in the town center. I’d found it once before and remembered that Tony, an old friend, had worked there in 1987 — the last time I was in England.
I had also previously found his e-mail as the contact person that this one company had at the market, so I’d e-mailed and never got a reply. On revisiting the Web site this week, I decided to try again. This time, I was rewarded with a short reply the same day.
I e-mailed back and asked him how his life had fared since I last saw him.
Much had changed. He had remarried and had kids.
Not only did he fill me in on his life history, but he also asked in depth about the United States.
It was obvious that the average Brit has a distorted sense of America.
Tony also peppered his e-mail with liberal doses of one-upmanship, telling me how both he and his wife own “Mercs” (which, in England, means Mercedes) and how he won some high-speed model-aircraft competition, where the model planes flew at 200 mph-plus.
He rambled on about investing in gold, silver and platinum and asked me about local coin stores. He even said, “I feel a trade coming on. Is there anything you need from here?”
All of this gave the whole proceeding the air of a Monty Python episode and set the scene for later events.
Next, I returned home from teaching guitar to find another e-mail with a huge, high-resolution picture of what I assumed was his home in Blackburn. It was very nice and had a late- model Mercedes sedan parked besid it.
It also showed another curious thing that the English do — a little greenhouse where they grow flowers or produce under cover so that the English weather doesn’t destroy them.
At this point (all within about a day), I’d been bombarded with “look what I have” e-mails, so this was where my old Brit humor kicked in.
I told my wife that I was going to send him a picture of Fallingwater and tell him that it was our house.
Mrs. Schulze, knowing my sense of humor, snickered, rolled her eyes and declared he’d never believe it.
A quick search on Google for Fallingwater images revealed a picture that looked almost believable. I merely dragged onto my desktop, renamed it “schulzehome.jpg” and then dragged and dropped it into an email to Tony. I honestly expected a reply of, “Yeah, right!”
I almost fell off my computer chair when he replied that, in Blackburn, you could never have a house like that by the water because he had searched on all local maps in his area as both he and his wife loved fly-fishing and they have a pond on their property.
Let me add at this point while you’re reading this that I’m not genuinely trying to deceive or impress him, because I’m not.
In fact, by the time you read this, he will know it was all a joke because I’ll have informed him of it.
I also considered sending a ridiculous picture I found of a tricked-out Scion XB with huge wheels, but decided against it.
Right now, I’m wondering what he’ll send next to try and outdo me in the Fallingwater Stakes.
I’d also add that I don’t recommend trying this at home, at least not unless you know the person well enough — or know that they can take a joke.
Have a great week.