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H.I.T.S.

By Eric Schulze and Doren Michael 5 min read

A Happy Easter to you all! In the spirit of giving you a little chuckle, I shall now detail what happened to me last week.

In past columns, we’ve tried to provide you with info about various popular Internet scams. We even once had a HITS show on which Doren and I talked to two local state troopers about the lengths to which some people will go.

This week, I found out that the scammers are even picking on “elderly guitar teachers” in good old Uniontown.

Sometime back, I registered with an online site called musiclessonteachers.com. In theory, people find your name for music lessons in this and other areas of the USA. Unfortunately, most of the inquiries I receive are for other areas and states.

I was surprised last week to receive an email sent via this online source. Although it was a tad quirky, I thought it might actually be a serious inquiry.

The email read as follows: “I am George Joe from the UK. I have a daughter coming to the state in a couple of weeks time. I want her to receive lessons from you. Please let me know your charge and your exact location so we begin to make payment. I await your immediate response. Regards, George Joe.”

Although the grammar was a bit “funky”, I decided to give it a shot and replied with my rate of sixty bucks a month for four half-hour lessons and a location of Uniontown, PA.

The very next day I received this reply: “Thanks for the response. It is nice to know that you are available to coach her. Your location is quite OK for her. My daughter will be coming to the state by April 21s and will be spending approximately 8weeks in the state. My agent will arrange for an apartment where she will be staying, he has been working on getting her somewhere suitable and conducive.

“I work with the UN, and most recently I was transferred to the state on an official assignment. I was London-based American and my children live in UK with me now. She has not too much experience in this field, I want her to start from the elementary stage, she’s is a very fast learner and would not portray any difficulties while you coach her. I want her to receive lessons for 1 hour for 2 days a week and for a period of 1 months.

“From my calculations, this would sum up to {$400}. I’d pay you the amount of 250GBP for any extra time you might find available to coach her.

“Now to payment arrangement. I would instruct my office to send my next pay check to you, this will be soon, very soon. It would be easier that way instead of having them send the cheque to me and I send it to you afterward. This saves us time and money. I want you to receive your fees before my daughter’s arrival so that she is occupied immediately she arrives and does not lose any day of lessons, due to incomplete arrangements between us.

“Now I request your full name, address, telephone and cell number, So I can instruct my office to send the payment to you. Immediately the cheque has been issued and sent to you, I’ll update you so you stay on the look for its arrival. I will also keep you informed about her arrival.

“My daughter’s name is Mimi Reno Joe, she is 19 years, 5’7′ tall, straight, female and single. She dose not drink or smoke, her hobbies are reading, swimming for fun and sometimes play tennis. My Full Name are: Mr. George Smith Joe, and my wife’s name: Farla Jean Joe We have been happily married for over 40 years now and we are richly blesses with two kids, Mimi and her brother Paul, who is 25 years already married. We are very happy families and my kids are very nice and respectful and responsible. We live in UK, I worked with UN in the UK while my wife is a Nurse.

“Get back now. I will have her sign for every necessary agreements when she arrives okay.”

He then even had a UK phone number (which was probably bogus) at the bottom of the letter. At this point, it was obvious from what we learned on the HITS show, that what was coming next was me providing info on my bank account, etc. so that they could “transfer” their “cheque” (spelled just like in England) to me.

No doubt, he would then ask me to send back the difference, as I’m sure the amount of the check was way bigger than the so-called “fee” they were paying me. Of course, if they were trusting enough to give me a large amount of money then surely, I should be able to trust them and send back the difference, right?

Mrs. Schulze immediately ran a search on Mr. George Joe and his email addy and it came up under UK scams. I finally replied that I wanted paid in gold bars and that was the end of the matter.

Hopefully, this will give you a little laugh until we meet again next week!

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