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READER TERRIFIED TO GET EAR PIERCED

3 min read

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was 4 years old, my mother took me to get my ears pierced. After my first ear was pierced, I began screaming and crying. I ran away and never got my second ear pierced. This was over 20 years ago. I have gotten around my single piercing by wearing one clip-on and one regular earring. No one has realized, at least to my knowledge, that I do not have both ears pierced. I realized that there is nothing stopping me from getting my other ear pierced except extreme fear. So many people in this world have their ears pierced, and it is not an expensive endeavor. I find half of me to be so silly for being scared, but the other half is paralyzed as I get close to piercing places. I want to go and have both of my ears pierced, but I can’t seem to garner enough courage to get it done. Should I bring friends so they make me do it? — Two Piercings, Atlanta

DEAR TWO PIERCINGS: Why do you want the other piercing so badly? Instead of agonizing over that second piercing, embrace your uniqueness. You can wear just one earring and have that be your signature. Or you can continue with the pierced and clip-on routine. Most important is that you accept yourself for who you are, including your fear of piercing. Since this fear is not about something that is a requirement for your life, you don’t have to conquer it — at least not right now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It’s the end of the year, and I am feeling very melancholy. I lost a dear friend earlier this year. Just this week, I learned that two other friends are very ill. Then there’s all of the ongoing violence and death throughout the world. It feels overwhelming sometimes. I can’t seem to shake the sadness. I don’t like to be around people when I’m down, but being alone is only making me sadder. What do you suggest that I do to feel better? — In the Dumps, Philadelphia

DEAR IN THE DUMPS: Now is the perfect time to do public service. I find that when I help those who are in need, it takes my thoughts off of my problems. At this time of year, there are so many things you can do. Find a retirement home and offer to volunteer helping them trim the Christmas tree or read to residents. Go to your local hospital and find out if you can read to the children or elders. Visit a local church and learn about the efforts they have underway to support those in need during the holidays. Any community center, house of worship or even school should have projects underway that could use support. Jump in and participate with the others who are there. This should help to lift your spirits.

If you remain extremely low, you should also seek counseling. Sometimes professional help is important when you find yourself lost in despair. Good luck to you!

Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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