Life with foster siblings shows WU student value of opening his home
Aniellio DeStefano became quite used to having a lot of people around as he grew up. Some were around for months, some for years and some permanently.
According to a 2014 census of foster care, 463,000 children are in care each year. DeStefano’s family, from Cumberland, Maryland, has taken care of countless children of that 463,000 throughout their lives.
His parents, Steve and Jeannette, struggled having children of their own until DeStefano and his twin Antonio were born.
“They had trouble having kids for a long time and it was very personal so I never asked about it,” said DeStefano, a senior criminal justice major. “But that [fostering] was the closest thing before they had me and my brother.”
DeStefano has three biological siblings: Dom, Damian and Dominic, in addition to his twin, as well as three adopted siblings: Deon, Aaron and Dante. Although he has those siblings, he said fostering has made him more appreciative of what he has and how he was raised.
“It’s really humbling, you see a lot of kids that have come from houses that were abused,” said DeStefano. “Aaron was babied before he came to us at age 10 and couldn’t really talk. It makes you grateful for what you have.”
DeStefano’s family would do all it took for their foster children to feel accepted and at home. If children did not feel this way, his parents handled it as soon as it was obvious.
He stated it was harder with girls since the household was full of boys of all ages and it often led to feelings of alienation. Boys were often thrown right into sports to help acclimate them into the family.
DeStefano has had the pleasure of seeing his younger siblings be adopted by either his family or another capable family. Only one child in care has gone back to his family.
That child, Kyrie, now ten years old, stuck out to DeStefano when asked about success stories about children that were once in their care that were adopted.
“Best that I’ve seen was Kyrie, he went with a relative and she ended up adopting him,” said DeStefano. “We wanted to adopt him but we knew her personally and when she said she wanted to adopt him we agreed that was the best thing for him. He plays football in Pennsylvania now.”
He stated his family doesn’t normally get a lot of information after the children leave their care unless they personally know the adoptive family.
The process to become a foster family requires filling out the application, background checks, reference letters and home visits.
“It’s a lot of paperwork, background checks, you have case workers constantly checking the home. It’s easier for my mom because she has a relationships with a lot of [case workers].” said DeStefano.
Although DeStefano’s parents are no longer together, he said his mother plans on adopting up to three more children, bringing her total to 11 children. Her reasoning is that all of DeStefano’s siblings are now out of high school.
Being old enough to understand the impact fostering and/or adoptive parents have on the children, DeStefano has decided it’s something he wants to do when the time comes.
“I have given a lot of thought into adoption; I do want to do it,” said DeStefano. “But just the amount of money and paperwork is ridiculous. I would have to wait and work for a long time to be able to afford it.”