The Summer of Tummy Trouble
Let’s see.
There was the Summer of Love in 1967, then the Summer of Soul two years later, and then in 1977, the crime-soaked Summer of Sam. And most of us are still creeped out by the Summer of Lantern Flies.
And here we are in 2026, which is shaping up to be the Summer of Explosive Diarrhea, and that’s the first time the D word has appeared in any column I’ve written.
It’s a terrible thing, all this worrying about the illness and not knowing what greens we can and cannot eat safely. I’ll leave all that to the food safety experts who are trying to pin this down before we’re all stricken. I feel for them.
But it’s also worth extending some sympathy to the news anchors and reporters who, in service to covering the evolving story, are required to say those vividly descriptive words, on camera, repeatedly every day.
I’m glad I’m past that part of my career. Back when I was just starting out anchoring the evening news at a station in Ohio, I surely would have squirmed at any news story that flashed those words on the teleprompter. I wasn’t even comfortable having to read stories about colon cancer, phlegm, vomit or — please, Lord, help me, no – testicles. In those cases, I’d hope that the producer would assign those stories to be read on camera by my co-anchor so I could avoid the embarrassment.
Of course, I was in my early twenties then and hadn’t yet developed the cool and professional detachment required of the job. In the town there was a local politician whose last name was perilously close to one of the seven forbidden swear words. His name was known as the most carefully enunciated name in the newsroom.
Decades have passed since then and we media providers and consumers are probably not as squeamish anymore. Our grandparents would remember a time when “cancer” was spoken between families and friends in hushed tones, probably an indication of the hopelessness of the disease. Now that cancer is better understood and less hopeless, we don’t feel the need to whisper.
Meanwhile, back at the Summer of Explosive Diarrhea, we’re hearing it on every radio and TV newscast every 10 minutes, and although it might strike some as cringey, the repetition is helpful. Nobody wants to come down with this diabolical parasite, and it’s important to keep up with what the doctors are saying.
But I do wonder what the news people think about encountering those words in every script this summer. When reporting health news, an anchor might say the words “leukopenia” and explain that it means a low white blood cell count, and most viewers would not necessarily have a vivid picture to go with that, nor any visceral reaction to hearing the term.
But explosive diarrhea? It paints us an unavoidable picture. Maybe it’s time to switch to a euphemism. Tummy Trouble? Terrible Tummy Trouble? Maybe something like T-Three? Or this might be one situation in which a complicated and hard-to-pronounce word would be preferable. Maybe we just go clinical and call it cyclosporiasis – all six syllables worth.
Until we rid the airwaves of the words, keep looking and listening for the news reports. So far the advice is to avoid raspberries or other bumpy fresh fruits. No leafy greens unless you cook them. No green onions. And scrub your watermelons before cutting them.
Let’s all hope that by summer’s end, the parasite crisis will be over. But until then, news anchors and reporters: keep doing your good work. I feel for you.