Halloween fun for everyone
It’s my favorite time of year. With the leaves falling and jack-o’-lanterns lighting up porches and windows everywhere, Halloween has finally arrived. For the past few weeks, I have enjoyed spooky music on my satellite radio, watching my two sons dress up and go trick or treating and gorging myself on the first wave of pumpkin-based goodies.
However, my Halloween just isn’t complete without a viewing of not only my favorite animated holiday classic, but one of the top TV viewing pleasures in existence … “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.” Ever since I was a youngster, watching the Peanuts transition from attempting to kick a football, to waiting for the titular gourd-based entity to the classic trick or treating scenes, this 30-minute masterpiece is the television equivalent of a Kit Kat wrapped in a Snickers sandwiched between a pair of gigantic Twix pieces.
It should come as no surprise that not only do I eagerly search the listings for the program, but I own not one, but two copies on DVD. Some may say I have a problem … I just feel I am comfortably in touch with my inner-child.
So why did I give you that glimpse of the inner workings of my slightly disturbed mind? The 2014 Halloween season has coincided with two of the Pittsburgh Steeler’s best weeks of the year. Stay with me for a second, it will all make sense in a minute.
Some casual examination of the players on the Steelers roster reveals some striking similarities they share with the characters on Great Pumpkin. Just check out the following examples and see if you agree.
My first example is comparing veteran safety Troy Polamalu to Charlie Brown’s biggest abuser, Lucy Van Pelt. I specifically point to one scene in particular. While the gang is getting ready to go out trick or treating, Lucy is quoted as saying the following:
“A person should always choose a costume which is in direct contrast to her own personality.”
What is the logic behind this comparison? While Lucy pulls on a witch mask, which of course doesn’t follow this philosophy, Polamalu’s Jekyll and Hyde transformation perfectly represents the quote’s message. A soft-spoken, devoted husband and loving father off the field, he turns into a reckless animal of a player when he is unleashed upon opposing offenses, or at least he did during his younger playing days. Clearly, his helmet is his green witch mask.
My next example compares aging defensive back Ike Taylor to everyone’s favorite beagle, Snoopy. While Snoopy believes himself to be a World War I flying ace fighter pilot, Taylor still believes himself to be an elite cornerback, as was evident by his being more than a little annoyed when taking a $4.25 million pay cut to stay with the franchise this year.
There is probably a better chance of a small hound dog using his dog house as an aircraft, than Taylor earning the respect of today’s elite wide receiver.
I would be remiss if I didn’t find someone on the Pittsburgh roster to compare to everyone’s favorite lovable loser and titular character, good ol’ Chuck himself. But who on the team could possibly compare to Mr. Brown’s seemingly endless track record of failure despite his best efforts? I really had to dig deep for this one.
Ever since he was drafted with the number-seven overall pick in 2009, speedy wide receiver Darrius Heyward-Bey has looked to prove his five-plus seasons of futility aren’t who he really is as a player. However, despite chances to shine with Oakland, Indianapolis and now Pittsburgh, he always finds a way to mess things up.
If the former University of Maryland star only kicked field goals, only to have his holder pull the ball away at the last second, the comparison would be even more complete.
Well, that marks the end of one of the more bizarre comparisons I have made in my career as a sports writer. If, for some inexplicable reason, you have not yet seen “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,” I urge you to view it before the candy is all eaten and Christmas has officially taken over the world for the next two months, especially if you have children. Here’s hoping the Steelers’ 2014-15 season has a sweeter ending than Charlie Brown’s night of trick or treating that resulted in a bag of rocks.