Finding your way in high school
Q.Why does high school seem so scary and long? 14year-old
Mary Jo’s Response: I’m so pleased you reached out to me. It takes courage to admit our fears.
High school is scary in part because it’s new. Change is a big part of life but can be frightening. The best way to ease fear is through connection.
I don’t know which district you attend, but most high schools are larger than middle or intermediate schools. Sheer size can be intimidating; bigger schools equal more students. When high school starts, the number of new faces a new student encounters can feel overwhelming. Connect with other new students; new experiences are easier when shared.
Classes are all new as well. Many middle schools operate on a rotating class schedule, but not all do. Some ninth-graders enter high school to find a whole new concept of changing classes, new teachers for each subject, and needing to juggle rest room time, lunchroom time, navigating strange halls, and new social dynamics.
Social connection is a big part of high school and of maturing. Finding the people with whom you feel comfortable may take time; until then, you may feel as if you’re facing this new environment alone. I suggest getting involved in activities that appeal to you. If you like academics, find students who seem to enjoy learning and join or create a study group. If you prefer athletics, connect with a sport. If you’re interested in helping your community, join an extracurricular club that provides community service. If you love music, join choir or band. If you like to discuss current events, join a debate club. Finding a niche for your interests will connect you with other students with whom you have a common bond.
High school, while often big and scary, comes complete with adults trained to help you adjust. Guidance counselors are ready to support students; many teachers are not only approachable outside of the classroom, they encourage connection. If you’re local to Washington, PA, our Common Ground Teen Center (92 N. Main St., Washington) is open Monday through Friday from 4 to 8 p.m. and provides a safe space for teens to interact, have fun, learn and connect. You will find you’re not the only person who thinks high school is scary.
It took courage for you to text me. It takes courage to reach out to trusted adults. Please find the courage to take that step and connect
As to why high school feels long, I believe it will feel less so once you find classes and activities you enjoy. Time goes slowly when we’re stressed. Center your breathing when you feel overwhelmed and concentrate on connecting with other students and teachers/guidance counselors who will help you feel relaxed. And give yourself time. You won’t be the “new kid on the block” for long.
Check out these peer educators’ thoughts:
Peer Educator Response: Yep. We remember feeling like this when we first started high school. Now we’re juniors and seniors, and high school feels as comfortable as home. You’ll get there.
Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.