Repair projects require nerves of steel
Now that cold weather has arrived it’s time to tackle some of those indoor repair projects around the house. Projects such as installing a switch for a hallway light. Or refinishing a bedroom door to restore its wood-grain surface.
Around our house, whenever I even mention something about fixing a light or installing some new appliance, I get a prompt reminder about some failed or unfinished project. The message is: “This guy doesn’t know what he’s doing and he’s gonna burn the house down some day.”
Frankly, that’s one of the reasons I prefer to work out in the garage, grinding metal and beating out dents in the old van. If a drill slips or a hammer misses its mark, the only witnesses are the van and me. A few bandages over a flesh wound or two and I am as good as new.
At least no one is looking over my shoulder, asking a thousand questions about whether or not I know what I’m doing when the power grinder rips out some wiring in the van’s engine by mistake. Of course I don’t know what I’m doing. Where’s the fun in reading instructions?
These are mini-adventures in home/auto repairs. Yeah, there are times when it would have cost less to hire a real mechanic, but a few dollars saved here and there goes a long way.
A little knowledge, combined with a little experience, helps avoid a number of pitfalls. There was the time I decided to change all of the sparkplugs wires in the family car. One small item I overlooked was to mark the wires with numbers to show exactly where they should be reinstalled.
If you’ve never heard an eight-cylinder engine misfiring when sparkplug wires are crossed, it’s an experience you might prefer not to have. After many rewiring attempts, mismatching sparkplugs to wires, I finally gave up and called a mechanic. He fixed it in about five minutes.
Then there is the failed installation of a three-way power switch for a stairway light. No matter how many ways I wired that switch, no matter how many different switches I bought, there was no way the power was ever going to be turned on to the overhead light.
When sparks jumped from the light switch and smoke rolled out from burning wiring insulation, no one was ever in any real danger. I immediately turned off the power at the breaker box. This incident, of course, brought a torrent of questions, most regarding my sanity, from the other occupant of the house.
Yet, they forget my accomplishments. I changed the electric alternator in the car, single-handedly, after a few minor mishaps, bruised knuckles, and such. It was only later, I confess, that I learned the auto parts place would have done the installation free.
There are those shining moments, however, which stand tall in my home repair career. The humidifier on the gas furnace finally gave out. I ordered a new motor through the Internet, removed the old unit, matched up the parts, installed the new unit, and it runs like a top. Mission accomplished.
All home repair husbands have similar success stories. Of course, we have paid our dues for our misadventures, failed experiments, ruined and broken appliances, and personal injuries, cuts and bruises included.
I’m not exactly sure why, after all these years, my wife has so little faith in my skills. Fortunately, I never let a lack of confidence slow me down. After all, if I disassemble a switch or take apart a motor with no clue as to how it is reinstalled, I know she has a phone list of repairmen in one hand and a checkbook in the other, ready to take over.
Whenever I mention a new, possibly hazardous project, she mutters something about fools rushing in where professionals fear to tread.
I believe she’s trying to tell me something. Now where did I leave that power drill.
Mike Ellis is the editor of the Herald-Standard. His e-mail address is: mellis@heraldstandard.com.