Mar 18, 2003 By Jan Hawkins 4 min read

I had never heard the term uhrwurm until earlier this week. It’s German for “earworm,” and it refers to the phenomenon of having a song stuck in your head. Why am I bringing it up in this column? It seems the group of individuals who are most prone to negative influence by earworms are – you guessed it – women.

As if we don’t have enough compelling mental health problems to contend with, now we have earworms. Apparently researchers have been studying this occurrence for years, mostly in terms of marketing techniques. You know, for the Madison Avenue people who create those catchy little jingles that sell potato chips and soda pop on TV.

There’s even a list of the top 10 earworms:

1. “It’s a Small World After All”

2. “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”

3. “Whomp, There It is”

4. “YMCA” (Argh! Please, no arm movements unless you’re doing aerobics.)

5. “Mission Impossible Theme”

6. “Kit-Kat bar jingle”

7. “We Will Rock You”

8. “Who Let the Dogs Out?”

9. “Chili’s (Baby Back Ribs)”

10. “Other”- Everybody has his or her own earworm that keeps coming back.

Dr. James J. Kellaris, professor of marketing at the University of Cincinnati’s College of Business Administration, initiated the survey. In his study abstract, Kellaris states, “Men and women experience earworms with similar frequency, but women tend to experience slightly longer episodes and experience significantly greater feelings of annoyance, frustration and irritation.”

Women also employ more strategies to rid themselves of the offending tunes.

By the way, the study found that musicians and those with neurotic tendencies are also prone to earworms. Now doesn’t that make you feel better?

Kellaris proposes a theory of “cognitive itch” when referring to the occurrence of earworms (cognitive itch being the mental equivalent of an itchy back – it itches, you scratch, it itches again, you scratch again). The only way we have of “scratching” a cognitive itch is to rehearse the tune mentally; then it becomes repetitive.

Various techniques are employed to dislodge an earworm, according to the survey respondents: 65 percent use replacement strategies (replace with another tune), 49 percent use distraction strategies (do something to stay busy), 39 percent use social strategies (talk to someone about it), 14 percent use completion strategies (sing out the entire song in their heads, for “closure”), and 54 percent do nothing. Women use social and replacement strategies; men generally do nothing.

Songs with lyrics are most frequently (74 percent), followed by commercial jingles (15 percent) and instrumental music, no words (11 percent).

According to Kellaris, children’s songs such as the Barney theme (“I Love You, You Love Me”) are more likely to get stuck because of their simplicity. Repetition in a song may also be a culprit, but so can incongruity-an unexpected pattern can just as easily trigger that cognitive itch.

When asked why he thought women were among those most prone to earworms, Kellaris responded, “I’m clueless.”

I have two theories of my own:

– Women are conditioned to take in everything in their environment and at the same time. That’s how we can transact business on the telephone while fixing dinner at the stove with at least one toddler attached to our ankles. Of course our brains are inputting all the jingles and tunes the marketing world throws at us – we’ve been doing it since we were 5.

– We’re more irritated by the mindless tunes because we’re too busy with the really important things in life (see theory number one).

Let’s face it, earworms make more work for us. We have to get rid of them ourselves – no help from the guys here; female brains are the last place men want to go.

To date, there is no cure for earworms. Presumably it doesn’t rank high enough on the scale of life-altering diseases to warrant further studies. (Thank heaven for that.)

But if a familiar clich’, disguised as a lyric without a tune, can be considered an earworm, then Kellaris himself offers one: “Don’t worry, be happy.”

(Jan Hawkins is a freelance health care journalist residing in northern Kentucky.)