Surviving the holidays Grief seminar supports those suffering loss
Courtesy of Barb Trahern
Regarded as the “most wonderful time of the year,” the holidays can be the opposite for those who have lost loved ones.
While many are caught up in the excitement and planning gatherings, others wonder how they will endure the season.
“Surviving the Holidays,” a no-cost, two-hour GriefShare support program, will be presented at The Bible Chapel, 300 Gallery Drive in McMurray, at 6:30 p.m. Nov. 20, and is open to the public. GriefShare is an international program designed to support individuals as they move through the process of grief.
“November and December are by far the hardest time for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one. This is why this event is so important,” said Dave Shields, Pastor of Men’s Ministry and Care at The Bible Chapel.
The evening program includes a video and time for discussion facilitated by husband and wife team Barb and Darwin Trahern and Paul Boardley. The Traherns have facilitated the longer 13-week GriefShare program at the Bible Chapel in the past.
Barb Trahern participated in the 13-week GriefShare program more than once after the death of her husband in 2008 just five days before Christmas. “I did it twice after my husband passed, the first time at three months and I cried through it. That’s when you learn how to process the loss,” she said.
She met her husband, Darwin, during GriefShare in 2014, and they will be married 11 years in January.
Surviving the Holidays will be presented during a break from the regular 13-week GriefShare program at the Bible Chapel.
“There are so many emotions that go with a loss. Your whole life has turned upside down,” acknowledges Barb Trahern. She said Surviving the Holidays helps individuals “with how to bow out of something gracefully, or just spend a few hours at a party and how to schedule your time so you are well-rested so you have a good outcome when visiting with people.”
“It was very helpful in that way,” said Amy Taggart of Hickory, who has attended Surviving the Holidays. “I just needed some suggestions on what to do, how to answer friends and even family members who want to include you, and you know it’s out of the goodness of their heart, but you just don’t have the physical or emotional strength to even participate in all of these things going on.”
Taggart originally attended the 13-week GriefShare program at The Bible Chapel about nine years ago after suffering three significant losses in her family within seven months.
She returns to the Surviving the Holidays program yearly. “I still go back and revisit every year. It’s just become a rhythm in my life now,” she said.
“For me, my family was so wounded. One of the losses was my oldest grandson, who died of a brain aneurysm unexpectedly, and we were all reeling, and then, six months later, my husband died.” Her brother also passed away during that time.
“It was hard to know what the right thing to do was,” Taggart explained. “You are approaching this time of year and everyone is excited and happy and families will be together and you get invited to places and just need to know how to navigate that season, because you don’t want to be a wet blanket, so to speak, at every holiday event you attend. But still, you are wanting to protect yourself and not put yourself in situations that are extremely painful and can be triggers for you.”
Taggart now assists with the GriefShare program at her own church.
GriefShare is an international program offering support through a 13-week curriculum in a group setting. Many GriefShare groups take a break to offer the Surviving the Holidays program, and dates for that program can be found at additional locations in the area by visiting https://www.griefshare.org.