The ‘eyes’ have it
In high school, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that I took a drama elective. I have always had a flair for the dramatic. In our midterm was a speech: We had to choose and recite our favorite monologue. It could be anything. In retrospect, I should have picked something with a bit of humor to it. I did not.
I chose King Arthur’s speech from “Camelot,” wherein he learns that his wife and best friend are having an affair.
Dunt. Dunt. Da!
See: dramatic flair.
I loved “Camelot.” It was one of those movies that I watched as a child on a rainy Sunday afternoon, introduced by Rege Cordic, between advertisements for Olde Frothingslosh (that should hit some people hard in their nostalgia bone).
But I digress, like I do. I remember reciting a flawless rendition of the monologue, perfectly mimicking Richard Harris, English accent and all. My teacher came up to me after and said, “That was great. Now, try it with your eyes open.”
I wandered around stage, doing my monologue with my eyes shut. It’s as if the words were printed on my eyelids. With my eyes open, I couldn’t remember one syllable.
Flash forward to “Off the Record,” a benefit for the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank opening on Thursday, Oct. 15. Every year, I volunteer my time to sing, dance, and gently spoof our fair city in the show with a conglomeration of local performers, including singers, dancers, actors and comedians.
I perform the show for two reasons. Food insecurity is at an all-time high, and, as a theater critic, I think it’s important to dance a mile in someone else’s ballet slippers before I judge them.
I’m in a few numbers where I have to warble. One song, an anthem to Pittsburgh’s sports teams, is putting me through the proverbial ringer. During rehearsal, I was up on a box singing, “Together, Together, stand up and grab them towels. Together, Together, unite across the miles.”
Only in Pittsburgh do the word towels and miles rhyme (for those of you reading this from outside of Southwestern Pennsylvania, Google: Pittsburgh regional accent).
My director, Chris Laitta, stopped me mid-song and said, “Great. Try it with your eyes open.”
Many, many years later, this dog is still using his old tricks.
No one had to tell me the results of a University of Surrey study in 2015, where they learned that “Closing your eyes can boost memory accuracy by reducing distractions, lowering cognitive load, and enhancing focus on other sensory details.” I knew that way back in high school.
Am I any good?
I can do it with my eyes closed! Maybe, by Thursday, I’ll be able to do it with my eyes open.
“Off the Record XXVI: One Yinzer Nation is a one-night only event on Oct. 15. If you can’t get a ticket, consider donating to the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank (which also serves Washington County). Tickets can be found here: https://offtherecordpgh.org/.