I’ve been really wanting to take advantage of purchasing groceries online for pickup and delivery, but that “family” of mine insists that we grocery shop at the store so I can “get some air”, so I can “stop practicing to be a hermit” and so I can “relearn social interaction”.

Today's column examines the phenomenon of dancing--what it is, its origins and, frankly, why I hate it.

There’s a lot to be said about political correctness and the euphemisms it spawns, but some instances of political correctness have turned into a waste of time ... literally. 

Now that we’re in the age of COVID--the terrible twos, as a matter of fact--we as a society have never been cleaner...or at least aimed higher to be cleaner than ever before.

I often hear the phrase, “That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard”, and that’s mostly from my wife when I tell her what my upcoming column is going to be.

Now that we’re reaching the fading twilight of our summer of discontent, it’s time to be informed that many of us have been killing ourselves 36 minutes at a time over the past few months and years.

This week's column has to do with dad jokes. Where did these things come from, why are the here and where are they going? We will find out.

Well, you truly can find anything online--even things you didn’t know you were looking for or asked for or even longed for, and that, in this case, is do-it-yourself toilet paper, the first entry in a series I'm calling DIY Horrors.

One day I started thinking about unicorns.

As a theoretical person, I’m always looking to better myself physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, financially and eventually.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water...Goldfish!

I’ve seen a lot of things in my time...then I discovered the Internet and then I pretty much saw everything else including things that can't be unseen; however, one of the greatest treasures I found were clips and sometimes whole episodes of Japanese game shows.

There's a lot of things on social media that really tick me off like ticks, things, teeth bleeding and social media, but the one thing that really makes my teeth bleed are people addressing intangible things like feelings, attitudes, beliefs or ideas as if they were real people.

Fellas, I know prom season has come and gone so maybe this week’s column would have been more appropriate for that special time.

Of course, not all proms are set on the same day, but this column is kind of more of a Fathers Day column and that’s only one day a year, so today is the most appropriate time to talk about your sons and daughters dating and how you should act.

If the bumper stickers I’ve seen are true, then I understand we have to coexist as well as have Calvin from the comic strip “Calvin and Hobbs” urinate on various logos and emblems that we hate.

After careful consideration, I decided that I have to issue a retraction for a previous column where I criticized the multiple scents and aromas that candle companies and fragrance companies have been pushing on the consumer.

I'm always striving to make the world a better place. I mean, I fail miserably every time, but I do strive, which is an aggressive form of trying. My latest strive is to prevent businesses and organizations from ending up behind the eight ball when it comes to public outrage over unintentional offensiveness.

It’s no big secret that I both admire and fear two things: technology and mannequins. With every new advancement that makes our lives better and easier, there’s always a dark side; however, I found no flaws or hidden evils when it comes to virtual weddings.

Of all the theorems I’ve enjoyed and embraced over the years, I would have to say my favorite is The Infinite Monkey theorem. It also applies to the variety of greeting cards available.

Sometimes you gotta know what your specialty in life really is. Case in point, when our clothes dryer was on the fritz and the misadventure that followed.

We take many things for granted like free air, meatloaf and defense satellites, but besides the meatloaf, the thing we take the most for granted are the words and phrases we use in every day life.

I find it odd that throw-away stuff from childhood normally ends up being ultra valuable. Case in point, Legos, and why they're so valuable that now criminals are stealing them.

Nobody likes to hear bad news, but it seems there are people out there who kind of enjoy relaying bad news and have their own unique way of doing so.

This week's column will deal with purses in all their glory and why they're such a mystery to us guys.

The more I learn about fatherhood, the more I realize that fatherhood is mainly about standing around and holding stuff.

This week's column is about one's search history on their internet browsers and how they tell a story about the user. Mine tells a story...and what a story it is!

The number and variety of coffee mugs one has in their home tells a little about them. My coffee mugs pretty much tells everyone that my life is totally insane.

Much attention has returned to the CDC's website where it details how to survive a zombie apocalypse as a metaphor for surviving a disaster. However, I have an alternative to zombies worth checking out. 

As we all know, COVID-19 has brought the world wonderful new phrases and wonderful new practices like masking, social distancing, remote learning and liquor stockpiling.

Of all the board games in the world, I had no idea that Yahtzee has plenty of violent stories surrounding it--even to the point where the stories that include kidnapping aren't even true. This week's column will look closer into the Yahtzee phenomenon.