As if I’m not jealous enough of children now-a-days, even in the dumpster-fire year of 2020 has caused me to have great envy at my 10-year-old stepdaughter, Emma, when she went “back to school”.
An aspect of a summer vacation with your family is the chance that your children may end up with a vacation friend, which is another kid that gloms onto your kid for better or for worse or, in my case, a little of both.
One of the many downsides to any vacation is packing the family car for a torturous road trip. But no worries, I'm here to give you the finer points and tips on packing for a trip...even though it's the end of summer.
Has there ever been an established protocol of thanking someone for holding a door open when going through two sets of doors? In this week's column, the answer is yes. You'll just regret asking the question.
I didn’t want to write yet another column about my ongoing belief that computers are out to take us over like I learned from movies like “The Terminator”, “The Matrix” and “Throw Momma From the Train”, but please keep in mind that the machines forcing my hand (well, both hands since I type) and made me write about just that.
In this week's column, I look at my psychological urge to overeat. So grease your thighs, wedge into the passenger seat and let's take a ride to Absurdityville.
This week's column is an exploration into the why houses and buildings used in exteriors of movies and television shows are so popular. Yes, I am totally running out of ideas.
It’s amazing how we as human beings really go above and beyond to find substitutes for certain entertainment and activities during a pandemic, and Japanese baseball has thrown their hat in the ring with robotic fans.
Over the last week, I’ve learned the art of shameless self promotion as I released my second book, “Good Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One...and Dying, Too”, available exclusively on Amazon.com. I also didn’t have time to write a column for this week because I’ve been busy learning the art of shameless self promotion for my second book, “Good Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One...and Dying, Too”, available exclusively on Amazon.com. So, I found no better way to mask laziness with shameless self promotion than making this week’s column a chapter from “Good Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One...and Dying, Too”, available exclusively on Amazon.com. Portions of the chapter from “Good Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One...and Dying, Too”, available exclusively on Amazon.com have been changed for context.
The constant battles I’ve been fighting to prevent my 10-year-old stepdaughter from growing up too fast has taken on another adversary, makeup.
Social distancing is becoming more difficult as everyone is rushing to the color-to-be-named-after-green phase, but there is a way to be totally responsible while being a total irresponsible jerk.
For those working from home and those who hate wearing work-appropriate pants or wearing pants at all, there’s hope for you in this post or pre-post or post-pre-post-COVID-19 world. It seems that a Finnish fashion retailer has created a line of what’s classified as half-formal outfits that feature acceptable clothing for office work from the waist up and what’s considered to be home attire from the waist down.
Many children have imaginary friends, but in my child's case, the imaginary friend has become something of a freeloader. In this week's column, I try to find a sensible, somewhat non-violent way, to fix this imaginary problem.
So I took a poll after last week’s column where I argued that laundry is an insane act. The majority disagreed, but they didn't read this second part of a two-part column.
Sometimes when you really think about something and analyze the process involved with something, you begin to see the total lunacy involved with it. Laundry is the perfect example.
I’ve recently started to think a lot about the concept of birthdays because people on my Facebook page just insisted that I was going through one...no matter how much I try to forget and convince people that most birthdays should be forgotten about. That's my birthday wish.
This week's column deals with our current obsession with hand sanitizer and our even more current obsession with homemade hand sanitizer. Mixing chemicals while quarantined in your house: what's the worst that can happen?
With today being Easter Sunday, I thought I'd take a moment and criticize Easter's mascot, the Easter Bunny, and explain why that beast has ruined a perfectly good holiday.
With so much uncertainty going on, who knows what the future holds? Well, I have a pretty good idea since I saw the movie "Demolition Man."
As I find myself in self quarantine this week, I didn’t want to spend all my free time sitting in a chair and blankly staring at a wall, so I decided to think up a few of my favorite unintentional movie villains while I sat in a chair and blankly stared at a wall.
Sometimes the journey of life mimics the journey of a fast-food drive-thru—a slow, agonizing adventure and not the quick and wacky misadventure like the ads have promised.
Celebrity deaths. It shouldn't be confusing, but it has become that way when television anchors break the news to us, and I hate to say it, but it will only get even more confusinger.
Gambling. It's as American as betting money on an apple-pie eating contest. But if you're bad at winning at the casino or scratching off tickets, I have some tips for you to win big or lose small so you don't notice.
I used to think--like a week ago--that hanging out in the ER waiting room was a worthy adventure, but there’s a whole other world of adventures, misadventures and side quests through the waiting-room doors and into the wonderful world of healthcare.