As a theoretical person, I’m always looking to better myself physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, financially and eventually.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water...Goldfish!

I’ve seen a lot of things in my time...then I discovered the Internet and then I pretty much saw everything else including things that can't be unseen; however, one of the greatest treasures I found were clips and sometimes whole episodes of Japanese game shows.

There's a lot of things on social media that really tick me off like ticks, things, teeth bleeding and social media, but the one thing that really makes my teeth bleed are people addressing intangible things like feelings, attitudes, beliefs or ideas as if they were real people.

Fellas, I know prom season has come and gone so maybe this week’s column would have been more appropriate for that special time.

Of course, not all proms are set on the same day, but this column is kind of more of a Fathers Day column and that’s only one day a year, so today is the most appropriate time to talk about your sons and daughters dating and how you should act.

If the bumper stickers I’ve seen are true, then I understand we have to coexist as well as have Calvin from the comic strip “Calvin and Hobbs” urinate on various logos and emblems that we hate.

After careful consideration, I decided that I have to issue a retraction for a previous column where I criticized the multiple scents and aromas that candle companies and fragrance companies have been pushing on the consumer.

I'm always striving to make the world a better place. I mean, I fail miserably every time, but I do strive, which is an aggressive form of trying. My latest strive is to prevent businesses and organizations from ending up behind the eight ball when it comes to public outrage over unintentional offensiveness.

It’s no big secret that I both admire and fear two things: technology and mannequins. With every new advancement that makes our lives better and easier, there’s always a dark side; however, I found no flaws or hidden evils when it comes to virtual weddings.

Of all the theorems I’ve enjoyed and embraced over the years, I would have to say my favorite is The Infinite Monkey theorem. It also applies to the variety of greeting cards available.

Sometimes you gotta know what your specialty in life really is. Case in point, when our clothes dryer was on the fritz and the misadventure that followed.

We take many things for granted like free air, meatloaf and defense satellites, but besides the meatloaf, the thing we take the most for granted are the words and phrases we use in every day life.

I find it odd that throw-away stuff from childhood normally ends up being ultra valuable. Case in point, Legos, and why they're so valuable that now criminals are stealing them.

Nobody likes to hear bad news, but it seems there are people out there who kind of enjoy relaying bad news and have their own unique way of doing so.

This week's column will deal with purses in all their glory and why they're such a mystery to us guys.

The more I learn about fatherhood, the more I realize that fatherhood is mainly about standing around and holding stuff.

This week's column is about one's search history on their internet browsers and how they tell a story about the user. Mine tells a story...and what a story it is!

The number and variety of coffee mugs one has in their home tells a little about them. My coffee mugs pretty much tells everyone that my life is totally insane.

Much attention has returned to the CDC's website where it details how to survive a zombie apocalypse as a metaphor for surviving a disaster. However, I have an alternative to zombies worth checking out. 

As we all know, COVID-19 has brought the world wonderful new phrases and wonderful new practices like masking, social distancing, remote learning and liquor stockpiling.

Of all the board games in the world, I had no idea that Yahtzee has plenty of violent stories surrounding it--even to the point where the stories that include kidnapping aren't even true. This week's column will look closer into the Yahtzee phenomenon.

A story filed in the You’ve Gotten Old Dept. happened after my wife and I purchased a Nintendo Switch video game system for our 10-year-old for Christmas.

Let’s face it, Valentine’s Day isn’t for everyone.

This week's column deals with artificial flavors and scents and how they open a whole new world of fakeness.

Of all the emails that trickle through the cracks to and drip on my computer, the one that didn’t get flushed happened to be about a survey by Enviro-Master, a health and safety company, about what they call the risky business of using public restrooms.

It’s true what they say, every rose has its thorn, every head has its tail, every yin has its yang and every Cheech has its Chong.

The procrastination involved with taking down Christmas lights is a phenomenon that scientists are eventually going to get around to studying when there’s a warm day and when they have a free afternoon.

Even though dogs sitting below dinner tables are a far cry from their hunting ancestors of the wolf, the cunningness of the hunt is still in all domesticated dogs and this week's column shows how they hunt at you dinner table.

Thanks be to the retail gods that the holiday shopping season is finally over! Most of us survived, although broke and broken and broken and broke and, of course, broke.

I don’t know about anyone else, but normally around June or July, my thoughts go to whatever will be considered the words or phases that are most used throughout the year. Such insight comes when you don't have much of a life.