In these times of uncertainty, the most comforting messages have been coming from television commercials.

So I took a poll after last week’s column where I argued that laundry is an insane act. The majority disagreed, but they didn't read this second part of a two-part column.

Sometimes when you really think about something and analyze the process involved with something, you begin to see the total lunacy involved with it. Laundry is the perfect example.

Nothing reinforces the fact that we humans know how to totally rock a global pandemic more than the tricked-out masks I’ve been seeing.

Have you ever noticed that some songs are used many times for movie trailers? Well, I did. That's why I wrote a column about it. Enjoy!

I’ve recently started to think a lot about the concept of birthdays because people on my Facebook page just insisted that I was going through one...no matter how much I try to forget and convince people that most birthdays should be forgotten about. That's my birthday wish.

This week's column deals with our current obsession with hand sanitizer and our even more current obsession with homemade hand sanitizer. Mixing chemicals while quarantined in your house: what's the worst that can happen?

With today being Easter Sunday, I thought I'd take a moment and criticize Easter's mascot, the Easter Bunny, and explain why that beast has ruined a perfectly good holiday.

Well, I have to start out this week’s column with an apology because the subject of the column, April Fool's Day, has already passed.

With so much uncertainty going on, who knows what the future holds? Well, I have a pretty good idea since I saw the movie "Demolition Man."

As I find myself in self quarantine this week, I didn’t want to spend all my free time sitting in a chair and blankly staring at a wall, so I decided to think up a few of my favorite unintentional movie villains while I sat in a chair and blankly stared at a wall.

Sometimes the journey of life mimics the journey of a fast-food drive-thru—a slow, agonizing adventure and not the quick and wacky misadventure like the ads have promised.

Celebrity deaths. It shouldn't be confusing, but it has become that way when television anchors break the news to us, and I hate to say it, but it will only get even more confusinger. 

Gambling. It's as American as betting money on an apple-pie eating contest. But if you're bad at winning at the casino or scratching off tickets, I have some tips for you to win big or lose small so you don't notice.

I used to think--like a week ago--that hanging out in the ER waiting room was a worthy adventure, but there’s a whole other world of adventures, misadventures and side quests through the waiting-room doors and into the wonderful world of healthcare.

For me, there is no more surreal place than a hospital emergency room waiting room; it’s a place where you believe you need emergency medical assistance, yet you can still watch television on office furniture in a room filled with sick strangers.

At which point of our history and evolution did we humans decide that snow was a thing of beauty? Good question. For this week's column, I don't have an answer of when, but I sure do know who made that decision.

Today is Super Bowl Sunday and if you're not excited, you're not alone. Neither am I. If your team didn't make it to the Big Game, don't fret because people have learned to enjoy the Super Bowl with what I call the Sliding Scale of Fandom!

Of the multitude of emails I receive on a daily basis, none have tickled my funny bone as a recent one pretending not to be a sales pitch. As a service to my fellow reporters or anyone who receives such emails, this week's column has the solution for you. 

Very few things annoy me more than my wife asking me about a conversation I've had by interrogating me over every little things said and me just shrugging and telling her I forgot. So, in this week's column, I come up with an idea to fix the problem and likely create more problems.

This week's column has to do with modern art, especially following the uproar when an performance artist ate a piece of art being a banana taped to a wall that sold for $120,000.

Christmas is a special time for both children and adults...different special...let's go with that in this week's column.

Like the annoying uncle who brings a fruitcake to Christmas dinner, the fruitcake is an annoying feature of the holiday season, but in this week's column, I'm going to jump start the fruitcake resurgence.

It's back! The third-annual Parental Misery Index Toy Guide! It's foolish for any parent to go shopping without it to find out how much toys for their children will annoy them.

With Thanksgiving over, it's time to focus on Christmas all the columns leading to the Big Day will be holiday themed. This week's column deals with the most popular holidays as dictated by the commercials reminding us those special days are just around the corner.

One of the pitfalls of parenting is when you kid gets sick, and not the kind of sick where you can lock them in their room until the pass out from doing three shots of cough syrup. No, because when vomiting is involved, it's not just a sickness, it's an adventure.

Every artist needs a muse, something that inspires them to create a masterpiece or a disasterpiece in some cases.

This week's column deals with the phenomenon of the "live" studio audience and how it has ruin television for me.

Many artists—whether it's the written word, the plucked note, the brushstroke of an oil-based paint or the smashed watermelon on a stage—go through a period where their creative juices are tainted with Kool-Aid after they have children.

With Halloween approaching this week, I thought it would be fitting to wrap up this three-part horror-themed columns by ending with an open letter to the master of horror Stephen King about a business proposition for him.